Quarter Jokes

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

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What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

Why did the football coach go to Aldi?

To get his quarter back!

How do you know when the Moon is going broke?

When it's down to it's last quarter.

What do you call an anorexic with thrush?

A quarter pounder with cheese

How many quarters does it take to play the Lord of the rings pinball game?

None, it only takes Tolkiens

What is the difference?

What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

What do you call an anorexic blonde with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese !

What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.

What is McDonald's demolition service called?

Quarter pounder.

What time was it?

A quarter to three.

Dock Tok Presents…The Good, the Dad, and the Punny: Jokes from the Water’s Edge

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What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter of a pound of ground beef?

A humburger.

What does an American call a Canadian Dollar?

A quarter.

Why couldn't the pirate use the bubblegum vending machine?

Because there is no quarter for the wicked.

Why are you begging for a quarter?

Beggar: I didn't think someone like you would give me a dollar.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a piece of cheese on his head?

Quarter pounder with cheese!

What is that behind your ear?

Nice try, too old for the coin trick" "No it's a tumor" "Oh my god" "Kidding it's a quarter"

What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese

What did the pay phone say when the quarter got stuck inside it?

Money's tight these days!

How did Chad Kroeger lose a quarter?

Everyone who bought his tickets wanted their nickelback

What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.

The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection (The Heirloom Edition): Over 500 Cringe-Worthy Puns and One-Liners

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Why is the moon like a dollar?

It has four quarters.

How is your mom just like a laundromat?

For a dollar in quarters she will take my load.

What is Meghan Trainor's favorite instrument?

A double quarter pounder with cheese.

What goes into the mouth of a quarter horse?

Two bits!

What do u call an anorexic women with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

Why did the football player tackle the phone booth?

To get his quarter back! Hahahahahha

How much does he give the cashier?

2 dollars, so he gets a quarter back.

Why couldn't Led Zeppelin play pinball?

They had No Quarter

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?

Because it had more cents

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

The Ultimate Dad Joke Book: 501 Hilarious Puns, Funny One Liners and Clean Cheesy Dad Jokes for Kids (Gifts for Dad)

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

How are black people like Christmas lights?

Half of them don't work and the ones that do aren't that bright

Slice Jokes More Slice Jokes

What's the difference between a sliced up body and a new BMW?

I don't have a new BMW in my garage.

What do Mexicans use to slice pizza?

Little Caesers

Ethiopian Jokes More Ethiopian Jokes

What do you call an Ethiopian with a dog?

Stupid.

How do you start an Ethiopian rave?

You tape bread to the ceiling.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do Fred Flintstone and Osama Bin Laden have in common?

A. They both look out their caves and see rubble.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?

Look! They spelled MACY's wrong!"

Dollar Coin Jokes More Dollar Coin Jokes

Why won't Americans switch to a dollar coin?

They're afraid of change.

What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man chasing a car?

What do you call a man chasing a car? -Exhausted What do you call a man being chased by a car? -Tired

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug

Ethopian Jokes More Ethopian Jokes

Why are Ethopians so fit?

Because they have to run around in the shower to get wet.

What do u call an ethopian with a slice of cheese on his head?

A quarter pounder with cheese.

Anorexic Girl Jokes More Anorexic Girl Jokes

What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?

Quarter-pounder with cheese

What are the odds of an anorexic girl joining the clergy?

Slim to nun.