When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What is the similarity between tight rope walking and an old lady giving you head?

You don't want to look down.

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ?

Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

Why you ask?

If it was any longer it wouldn't be a foot

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Whole Foods "All the cash in a bag NOW!" 100% organic reusable bag ok?

Yes!" puts half the cash I had to charge for the bag

Why did the Energizer Bunny need to lawyer up?

He was charged with battery.

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

Salad Jokes More Salad Jokes

Why did the tomato blush?

It saw the salad dressing

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

Toss Jokes More Toss Jokes

What's the difference between friends and potatoes?

Potatoes don't scream when you peel their skin and toss them in boiling water.

What do you call tossing a Hawaiian's salad?

Pacific rim

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

Frown Jokes More Frown Jokes

Why was the Mathematician frowned upon?

He was a chronic math-debater

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

Waitress Jokes More Waitress Jokes

When a waitress asks me if I want soup or salad, I always ask "who's in charge of tossing the salads here?

Then I frown & order the soup.

What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

A: uh, me so sorry.