Dump Jokes

  • Where did William Tell take his garbage?

    To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump!

  • What do you call a guy dumped by his Asian girlfriend?

    Disoriented.

  • How did the explorer react when the which doctor turned him into a miniature ballsack?

    He was a little testie! Bump dump pshhh!

  • What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

    A Brexit

  • What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

    You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

  • How did Jared Fogle lose 40 pounds?

    He dumped his girlfriend.

  • What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took?

    A No. 2 pencil.

  • Where does the Lone Ranger take his trash?

    To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump, dump.

  • Why did Skrillex's girlfriend dump him?

    Because he D-D-D-D-DROPPED THE BABY.

  • What is the difference between my girlfriend and a washing machine?

    After I dump my load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around.

  • What does Madeleine McCann and Bin Laden have in common?

    They both got their backdoors smashed in before being dumped in the sea

  • What is the difference between a washing machine and a girl?

    A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

  • What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine?

    A washing machine won't follow you around after you dump your load in it.

  • How can a beautiful girl like you be single?

    Dave, I literally dumped you 5 minutes ago. Please leave"

  • How did Jared lose 30 pounds?

    He dumped his girlfriend.

  • What's the difference between a washing machine and your mom?

    The last time I dumped a load into the washing machine, she didn't follow me around for a week!

  • Why did the woman turn to her husband and say "now who the hell would dump such a nice sofa out here in the woods?

    She was looking at a bear and thought it was a sofa due to the four legs.

  • What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

    He flushed.

  • Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps?

    Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.

  • What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

    The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

  • Why was the 6'6" guy so brokenhearted after his 4'9" girlfriend dumped him?

    A: He was nuts over her.

  • What's worse than getting dumped by your girlriend?

    Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking.

  • What do you call a chinese crab who just got dumped?

    A frustacean

  • Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

    Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

  • What is the first nursery rhyme blondes learn in primary school?

    A. Hump me dump me!!

  • When using the equation Y=1-T to understand how citizens react to changes in taxation...what happens when T>1?

    Alot of T gets dumped in a harbor

  • What's the hardest part about dumping a Japanese girl?

    You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

  • What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

    When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around

  • How did Jared lose 40 pounds?

    He dumped his girlfriend

  • Why did Superman dump Lois for Wonder Woman?

    He decided he wanted to date someone in the same League.

  • What do you call somebody who suffers from both depression and trisomy 21?

    Down's in the dumps

  • Whats the difference between a Blonde and a Washing Machine?

    The Washing Machine will not follow you around for 2 weeks after you dump a load in it!

  • What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine?

    The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it.

  • What's the difference between an 18 year-old girl and a washing machine?

    When you dump a load in the washer, it will not follow you around for two months.

  • Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman?

    A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it.

  • Why did the banker dump his girlfriend?

    He lost interest.

  • What did Ryu say when he was taking a dump?

    IMMM-DUKEN!'"

  • Why did the girl reject the landfill owner?

    His place is a dump

  • How Long Does It Take A Black Woman To Take A Dump?

    9 months.

  • Whats the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

    Having to drop the bomb on them twice before they get it.

  • Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine?

    When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around

  • What about the other baby?

    Obi-wan:*shrugs* Dump him in a desert somewhere

  • What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend?

    They wipe, flush, and wash their hands

  • Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him?

    Because she didn't like his lack of commitment

  • What's the difference between your mom and a washing machine?

    If I dump a load in a washing machine it doesn't follow me around for the next few weeks.

  • What did the cheese maker say when his vat got dumped to the floor?

    That's no gouda

  • What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

    You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

  • Why don't I have a boyfriend?

    God: I sent you one, you dumped him for putting ketchup on his steak. Me: Ah. That's right. Gross.

  • Why don't they let Italians swim in Long Island Sound?

    If you know that one, try this one: Why do seagulls fly to the dump

  • What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

    When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

  • Why did Spock dump his wife?

    because William Shatner I know it's old, but I love it so

  • Why was the web server down?

    Mary Jane dumped him.

  • What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

    A clean sheet.

  • How did Jared lose 40lbs?

    He dumped his girlfriend.

  • What did the cannibal do after dumping her boyfriend?

    She wiped her arse.

  • What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

    When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after