Feminist Jokes
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What did the feminist say when she saw a guy laughing at her picture on the Internet?
Topical meme."
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What does a feminist get when she can't afford a punching bag?
A boyfriend.
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What is the difference between homeless people and feminists?
Sometimes the homeless get change.
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What is the difference between a feminist and a walrus?
A walrus has at least two valid points.
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Why did sumo wrestlers start shaving their legs?
To stop getting confused as feminists
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How many anti-feminists does it take to screw the light bulb?
Anti feminists Nah, they can't screw
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How many feminists does it take screw in a lightbulb?
One she holds it in the socket and waited for the world to revolve around her.
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Why are there so many good jokes about feminists?
Well, they're huge targets...
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How many feminists does to take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one. She stands with the bulb and the world revolves around her.
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How many feminists does it take...... ...to change a light bulb?
0, woman are so unrepresented in technology that this is not possible.
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Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions?
It pains them to have standards.
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Why do feminists hate church music?
Because of all the Hymns.
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What's the difference between a communist and a feminist?
The communist wants equality
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What's the most common way to trigger a feminist?
Right away.
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What do you call someone who has irrational and prejudiced views against motor races?
A feminist
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How many anti-feminists does it take to screw the light bulb?
Anti feminists? Nah, they can't screw
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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. They just hold it in the socket and expect the world to revolve around them.
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What do feminists and zookeepers have in common?
Nothing. Feminists have nothing in common with anyone.
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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything!
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Why can't a feminist shoot a gun?
They can't handle the triggers.
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What do you call a spoiled girl blogging about her 1st world problems?
A feminist.
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What's the difference between a terrorist and a feminist?
The terrorist needs a trigger to blow things up.
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What part of New York has the most feminists?
Manhatin'
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How many Feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One. Men can be Feminists, too.
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Why do feminists hate the post the USPS?
Cause it's an all mail business.
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What did the the dad say to the feminist?
Hugh Mungus
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Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs?
So that you can tell them apart from feminists
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Why did the feminist sign up for football?
She wanted to be the center of attention.
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What's the similarity to Group A streptococci and feminists?
They're sensitive to everything
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What's the only thing a feminist is going to change?
The Laundry
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Whats the difference between a woman and a feminist?
A woman can understand irony and satire without being offended.
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How are babies different from feminists ?
Babies grow up and stop crying
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Why did the feminist fail in programming?
She hated objectification.
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What are the similarities between a US handgun and a Feminist?
30 of them are triggered every second
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How many feminists does it take to screw in lightbulb?
It doesn't matter how many you get, because all they'll do is sit around complaining about how misogynistic the use of the word "screw" is.
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What is the difference between a baby and a feminist?
The baby grows up and learns to stop crying.
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How do feminists screw in a lightbulb?
By holding the bulb up to the socket and waiting for the world to revolve around them EDIT: Rip inbox EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold!
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Why aren't there any feminists in Japan?
Whale huntings legal
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What does a feminist pick up from the post office?
Their femail
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What's the difference between a feminist and a gun?
Some people are against shooting guns.
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Why is it that sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So they don't get mistaken for feminists.
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What happens when a feminist shoots a gun?
The gun gets triggered.
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Why do feminists always seem so unhappy?
Because happy people usually leave cults.
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Why is it good to post jokes about feminists?
It promotes equality.
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What's the difference between a C4 and a feminist?
The C4 does something when it's triggered.
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How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
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What Happened when Feminist's found out about Reddit?
Well they deleted
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Why do feminists always complain about video games?
Because they're too stupid to learn how to make them.
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Why did the feminist get fired from Panera?
Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich.
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What's the difference between a bomb vest and a feminist?
A bomb vest does something when it's triggered.
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What do you call it when a feminist yells so much she spits on your face?
A femijizm
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What was the Feminist's least favorite subject?
Trigger-nometry.
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Why do sumo-wrestlers shave their legs?
So they don't get mistaken for feminists.
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How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?
A sumo wrestler shaves his legs.
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Why do feminist hate the bible?
Because it ends with A-men
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Why was the feminist happy when the newspaper got it wrong?
Because she enjoyed being Ms-quoted
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Why did the feminist get triggered?
The police found it easier than arresting her.
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Whats the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest?
A bomb vest does something when triggered.
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How do you confuse a feminist?
Tell her you refuse to allow her to make you a sandwich.
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How many feminists does it take to dismantle the patriarchy?
None. Once they shut up, no-one has any reason left to oppress them :)
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What do you do on a date with a feminist?
Split the bill.
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What's the difference between a feminist and a doormat?
You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat.
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What's the difference between a feminist and a trash bin?
The trash gets taken out once a week.
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Why do feminists hate Medusa?
She's always objectifying people.
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What are feminists best at in mathematics?
TRIGGER-nometry
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Why did the feminist accuse her teacher of misogyny?
Because he'd D graded her.
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What's the difference between a feminist and an illegal immigrant?
The illegal immigrant knows how to cook.
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What do Vegans, ISIS and Feminists have in common?
None of them like pork.
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Why do Japanese Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So you can tell them apart from feminists.
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Why don't feminists carry handguns?
Because of the triggers. I'm sorry
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Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office?
Because it was a mail dominated industry
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What is the difference between a feminist and a cat?
One of them is annoying, dangerous, hairy, lazy, disgusting and filthy and the other one is just a feminist
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Why were there no feminists in Communist China?
Because everyone had equal rice.
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Why do feminists support gun control?
They don't like triggers
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What did the feminist Jedi say to Emperor Palpatine?
Check your privilege, sithlord
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Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
So people don't confuse them for feminists.
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What do feminists and Redditors have in common?
They both have multiple triggers that will cause them to down vote those who don't think the exact same way as them.
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What do you get when you cross a feminist with a non-feminist?
Triggernometry
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What kind of math do feminists study ?
Triggernometry
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What's the difference between feminists and cancer?
Cancer reproduces itself.
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What do feminists search for on scavenger hunts?
Reasons to be offended.
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What triggers feminists?
Genders
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Why have sumo wrestlers began shaving their legs?
They were getting tired of being mistaken for feminists
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Why couldn't the feminist change the light bulb?
Feminists can't change anything.
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How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?
Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.
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Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office?
Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry.
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How do you tell if a woman is a feminist?
She'll tell you within five minutes.
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How do normal people vs feminists laugh?
Normal People: HeHeHe... Feminist: SheSheShe..
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How many feminists does it take to screw a lightbulb?
One to screw it in and nine to write on their blogs about how enlightening the experiment was.
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Whats the difference between a feminist and a jihad?
one actually fights for change
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What's the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest?
The bomb vest actually does something when triggered.
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What's the difference between a feminist and a computer?
You can punch information into a computer.
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What's the difference between a feminist and Brexit?
Brexit has actually affected society.
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What are the similarities between feminists and hobos?
They both ask for change and never get any.
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What do a Feminist and a Broken ATM have in Common?
They both can't make any change
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What's the different between a knife and a feminist?
A knife has a point
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Why are feminists so good at Street Fighter V?
Because they are always V-triggered
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What did the feminist Jedi say to Darth Tyrannus?
Check your Force privileges, Sith Lord!"
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What do you call a feminist from LA?
A SoCal Justice Warrior.
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How many feminists does it take to screw a vegan?
Lightbulb.
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What is a feminists least favourite subject at school?
Triggernometry.
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Whats a Feminist's favorite math subject?
Triggerednometry
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What's the difference between handguns and feminists?
A handgun only has one trigger.
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Why are feminists bad cashiers?
They can't make change.
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What's the difference between a feminist and a spear?
A spear has a point!
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How many does it take to screw in lightbulb?
thread! Q: How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
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What do you call a cow with no sense of humor ?
A feminist
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What's the difference between a sumo and a feminist?
A sumo shaves their legs.
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Why did the feminist get fired from Subway?
Because she refused to make a sandwich
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Whats the most important aspect of gun safety to practice around a feminist?
Trigger discipline
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Why shouldn't you play American football with feminists?
Because they'll constantly shift the goal posts.
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What Video Game do feminists LOVE to play?
No MAN'S sky!
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How did the feminist die?
Alone
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What is a misogynist?
A misogynist is anyone winning an argument with a feminist.
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Why are there no feminists in Japan?
Because they hunt whales.
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What do you feed a feminist at a cookout?
Trick question. Nobody invites feminists to a cookout.
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How Many Feminist does it take to Screw SRSer ?
None, Even Feminist have standarts
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What is the difference between a feminist and a machist?
The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first.
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How does a feminist know she's overweight?
She doesn't
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What do a feminist and a policeman have in common?
Q: What do a feminist and a policeman have in common A: They're both trigger-happy.
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What's a feminists least favorite Pokemon?
Abra!
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When/why do feminists hate cannibals?
When they make sandwiches, because they're man-spreading.
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Why do feminists hate Apple?
Because they're not PC.
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How are feminists and bad hacker groups similar?
Both can't take down anything.
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Why do Sumo Wrestler's shave their bodies?
So that they don't get mistaken for feminists
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What's the difference between a gun and a feminist?
A gun has one trigger.
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Which band does feminists hate the most?
Cis-tem of a Down
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What do guns and feminists have in common?
They are very loud when triggered.
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What does a feminist and a landmine have in common?
They explode when triggered.
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Why didn't the feminist shave her arm pits?
Just kidding, just wanted to rile a few people up. But if you want to have a punchline contest, feel free.
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Why do feminists dislike maths?
There's an XY axis but no XX axis.
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What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a marathon full of feminists?
The tribe of pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.
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What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?
Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/
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What do you call a happy cow?
Laughing stock. What do you call a grumpy cow? A Feminist
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How many feminists you need to change a lamp?
That's not funny..."
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How do feminists like their eggs cooked?
Ovary-Z
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What's the difference between the average person and a feminist?
About 200 pounds.
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How many feminists does it takes to change a lightbulb?
One. ###And it's NOT funny!!!
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Which vitamine are feminists missing?
D
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What version of Counter-Strike do feminists get?
Counter-Feminist: Globally Offended
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What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill?
One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.
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How do you pick up a feminist?
Like a bowling ball.
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What do you call a feminist that raps about women's rights?
Feminem