Forget Jokes

At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: "I am a country member!" and the other said: "Oh, I remember!"

Why did the rapper die after being shot?

He forgot 2pac his bullet proof vest

Why is PTSD like riding a bike?

You never forget

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

What did one alcoholic say to the other alcoholic?

I forget

What do you say to Aziz Ansari when you forget his birthday?

Aziz, I'm sorry.

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Who's There?.........9/11.....9/11 Who?

I thought you said you'd never forget...."

What's the most awkward aspect of bar-tending at an internet cafe?

You have to deal with people who forget to close their tabs.

Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

A LockSith.

Why was Biggie hungry at school?

He forgot Tupac his lunch!

Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 Who?

YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!!!!

What did the jihadist do when he forgot to study?

He bombed the exam.

Why can't rappers take holidays?

They always forget Tupac.

What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones?

The last one out is meant to get the Wights

What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

Flossless compression!

What did they say when they forgot to embalm Satoru Iwata?

WiiU

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

What do frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common?

An idiot who forgot to take it out earlier.

What is dementia?

I forget

Why did Jesus hang on the cross for three days?

He forgot the safe word.

What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways?

He died on the cross!

What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson?

Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it.

What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech?

What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech? Give me a moment...ummmm.(momentum)

How did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?

The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper!

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

What is something that you never forget on a field trip?

9/11.

What do you call a person with short-term memory loss?

I forget...

What does Snoop Dogg do when he forgets to put on oven mitts?

He drops it like it's hot.

Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.

What's worse than watching your brother do a double barrel roll over 15 cars on a motorbike?

Having to watch him do a half barrel roll over 8 of them. R.I.P. Bobby. Never forget.

Why could the witch never get the enchantments right?

She forgot to use Spell Check.

What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.

Why do elephants drink?

Well, mostly to forget.....

How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his whopper.

Why did the leper return to the shower?

He forgot his head and shoulders.

Why did the forgetful Mexican cross the road?

To get to the other side... err, no it was to pick up the laundry... nope, to get groceries? I forget.

Why should you distrust atoms?

Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

What does Snoop Lion do when he forgets to wear oven mitts?

Drops it like it's hot.

Who's there ! Brother ! Brother who ?

Brother-ation I've forgotten your name !

Why do you forget a tooth as soon as the dentist pulls it out?

Because it goes right out of your head.

Why did the mafia cross the road?

Hey forget about it

What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day?

I want to know her secret

Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine?

He forgot.

How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

Who's there/9-11/9-11 who?

YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!

Why isn't the guy who wrote "Danger Zone" and the Saved by the Bell theme very active on social media?

He forgot his Loggins

Who forgot his phone charger today?

THIS gu

Why does a hummingbird hum?

It forgot the lyrics.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

How many years before we forget if 9/11 was in '00 or '01?

15 or 16

Why did the electrician multiply distance and voltage?

Because he forgot his voltmeter at home.

Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school?

He was Russian.

What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

Who's there ! Bunny ! Bunny who ?

Bunny thing is I've forgotten now !kn

What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

How is learning to ride a bicycle and 9/11 alike?

Because you never forget!

Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?

The Burger King forgot to cover his whopper

What animal never forgets national tragedies?

the nine-elephant

What else did I forget?

WHERE IS MY BABY ! Wait, do I have one of those DO I HAVE A BABY !

Who's there ! C-2 ! C-2 who ?

C-2 it that you don't forget my name next time !

What is your secret?

Chen says, "it is because I have forgotten her name"

Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home?

He forgot to pack his trunk.

Why do blondes always die before help arrives?

A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth?

A Concussion.

How will I ever find the right woman?

She replied "Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."

Why did Burger King and Dairy Queen have a baby?

Because Burger King forgot to wrap up his Whopper

What do you call a sapling in the military?

An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)

Why do bees hum ?

Because they've forgotten the words !

Who, me?

Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work.

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

What's ur emergency?

Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW

Why can't blondes make ice cubes?

A: They always forget the recipe.

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Who?

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Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear?

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What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

What is the name of your car?

What do you call it when an eclipse occurs?

Why did Jesus die ?

Why did the blind guy crashed his car into another car?

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What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication?

What happened when Steve Irwin forgot to put on sunscreen?

What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday?

Why do elephants drink so much?

How could I forget, mate?