Forget Jokes

  • What's your favorite tasteless 9-11 joke?

    Here's mine. Knock knock. Who's there 911. 911 who You said you'd never forget

  • Who, me?

    Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work.

  • What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday?

    I'll column later.

  • What is skeleton?

    Interviewer:what is skeleton? Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

  • Who's there ! Brother ! Brother who ?

    Brother-ation I've forgotten your name !

  • What is the integral of 1/cabin?

    B: "Log cabin!" A: "Nope, Houseboat. You forgot the C."

  • How to have an unforgettable date?

    1. Have a date. 2. Try not to forget it.

  • What is the most effective way to remember your wifes birthday?

    Forget it once.

  • Why can't rappers take holidays?

    They always forget Tupac.

  • Why did Jesus die on the cross?

    he forgot the safe word

  • What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth?

    A Concussion.

  • What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?


  • Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school?

    He was Russian.

  • What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

    Nin, ten, " ....I'll leave now.

  • Why was Princess Peach worried when Mario wanted to use her laptop?

    She forgot to delete her Bowser history

  • Who's there/9-11/9-11 who?


  • What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech?

    What did the Physics professor say when he forgot his lines of a speech? Give me a moment...ummmm.(momentum)

  • Why do you keep talking about my weight behind my back?

    Husband: Because when I get round to the front I've forgotten what I was going to say

  • Why did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?

    The Burger King forgot to cover his whopper

  • What did the waitress say to the customer after she forgot his Miso soup?

    A: uh, me so sorry.

  • Why were the camels wearing sandals?

    To stop themselves sinking into the sand. Why did the ostrich stick its head in the sand To look at the camels who forgot to put their sandals on.

  • Why was Biggie hungry at school?

    He forgot Tupac his lunch!

  • How is learning to ride a bicycle and 9/11 alike?

    Because you never forget!

  • How did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?

    The Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper!

  • Why is PTSD like riding a bike?

    You never forget

  • Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?

    Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

  • How did the Burger King get the Dairy Queen pregnant?

    He forgot to wrap his whopper.

  • What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

    Oh, gosh!

  • What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

    Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

  • Why could the witch never get the enchantments right?

    She forgot to use Spell Check.

  • Why did the forgetful Mexican cross the road?

    To get to the other side... err, no it was to pick up the laundry... nope, to get groceries? I forget.

  • Why did the skeletons start dancing?

    Because they forgot the g in graveyard.

  • What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication?

    Urine trouble!

  • Why do elephants drink?

    Well, mostly to forget.....

  • What did the Iraqi boy say when his dad forgot his rucksack?


  • Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?

    A: Elephants never forget.

  • What is your secret?

    Chen says, "it is because I have forgotten her name"

  • What do you say to Aziz Ansari when you forget his birthday?

    Aziz, I'm sorry.

  • What's the difference between a clever midget and my ex-girlfriend, the trackstar?

    One's a cunning runt... and I forget the rest, but your mother is a whore.

  • Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

    because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

  • Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home?

    He forgot to pack his trunk.

  • How many years before we forget if 9/11 was in '00 or '01?

    15 or 16

  • What did they say when they forgot to embalm Satoru Iwata?


  • What does an aging Mafia boss do for his birthday?

    Forget about it.

  • Why can't blondes make ice cubes?

    A: They always forget the recipe.

  • Why did the electrician multiply distance and voltage?

    Because he forgot his voltmeter at home.

  • What's worse than watching your brother do a double barrel roll over 15 cars on a motorbike?

    Having to watch him do a half barrel roll over 8 of them. R.I.P. Bobby. Never forget.

  • What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day?

    I want to know her secret

  • Why did Jesus hang on the cross for three days?

    He forgot the safe word.

  • What's the best thing about having a girlfriend who is addicted to Starbucks?

    You'll never forget her name.

  • What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

    In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.

  • What is something that you never forget on a field trip?


  • What don't elephants forget when they go swimming?

    Their trunks.

  • What happened when Jesus forgot to look both ways?

    He died on the cross!

  • Why do women forget if you call them beautiful 100 times but remember if you call them ugly once?

    Elephants have good memory

  • What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?


  • Why does a hummingbird hum?

    It forgot the lyrics.

  • Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

    Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

  • How will I ever find the right woman?

    She replied "Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."

  • Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

    It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

  • What's the most awkward aspect of bar-tending at an internet cafe?

    You have to deal with people who forget to close their tabs.

  • Who forgot his phone charger today?

    THIS gu

  • How did Mummy know you hadn't had a bath?

    Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel wet the soap and flood the bathroom.

  • How do you remember your wedding anniversary?

    Forget it once.

  • What animal never forgets national tragedies?

    the nine-elephant

  • What do dads never forget to include in their "dad" jokes?

    PUNctuation Okay, I'll leave.

  • What did one alcoholic say to the other alcoholic?

    I forget

  • Why isn't the guy who wrote "Danger Zone" and the Saved by the Bell theme very active on social media?

    He forgot his Loggins

  • Why do bees hum ?

    Because they've forgotten the words !

  • Who's there ! C-2 ! C-2 who ?

    C-2 it that you don't forget my name next time !

  • What do you call it when an eclipse occurs?

    When God forgets to pay the electricity bill.

  • What else did I forget?

    WHERE IS MY BABY ! Wait, do I have one of those DO I HAVE A BABY !

  • Who's there ! Beets ! Beets who ?

    Beets me but I just forgot the joke !

  • What do you call a person with short-term memory loss?

    I forget...

  • Why did the leper return to the shower?

    He forgot his head and shoulders.

  • What's imaginary that my girlfriend and I afraid to forget?

    My girlfriend

  • What did the mermaid forget to bring to the maths lesson?

    Her algae bra.

  • Why did the rapper die after being shot?

    He forgot 2pac his bullet proof vest

  • What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold?

    One of you is a sick duck, and I forget the rest, but your mother's a whore!

  • What did the jihadist do when he forgot to study?

    He bombed the exam.

  • What do frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common?

    An idiot who forgot to take it out earlier.

  • Why do you forget a tooth as soon as the dentist pulls it out?

    Because it goes right out of your head.

  • What do you get when you drop a piano in a coal mine?

    A flat minor. Night... Don't forget to tip your waitress

  • What is the name of your car?

    Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'. Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

  • Why should you distrust atoms?

    Because they make up an awful lot of stuff. EDIT: Because I forgot about neutrinos.

  • What do you call it when you grind your teeth because you are bugged you forgot your dental floss?

    Flossless compression!

  • What happened when Steve Irwin forgot to put on sunscreen?

    He got hurt from harmful rays

  • What do they always forget to do after filming a season of Game of Thrones?

    The last one out is meant to get the Wights

  • Who does a Jedi call when he forgets his keys?

    A LockSith.

  • What does Snoop Dogg do when he forgets to put on oven mitts?

    He drops it like it's hot.

  • Why did the blind guy crashed his car into another car?

    Because he forgot to check his blind side.

  • What do a pregnant teenager, frozen beer, and a burned pizza have in common?

    Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.

  • What is a long room with many doors called?

    I'm not sure, I hallways forget

  • Why do elephants drink so much?

    To forget

  • Why did the railroad thief get caught?

    He forgot to cover his tracks! im

  • Why did Burger King and Dairy Queen have a baby?

    Because Burger King forgot to wrap up his Whopper

  • How could I forget, mate?

    At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: "I am a country member!" and the other said: "Oh, I remember!"

  • What's the difference between talking to your wife after you forgot something and a minefield?

    You can actually get through the minefield alive.

  • What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson?

    Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it.

  • What is dementia?

    I forget

  • Why did the mafia cross the road?

    Hey forget about it

  • Why do blondes always die before help arrives?

    A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

  • Who's rhere?

    9/11. 9/11 Who You said you would never forget.

  • What happens if you game so much you forget to brush your teeth?

    You get Halo-tosis. :-/

  • Why did Jesus die ?

    He forgot his safe word.

  • Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine?

    He forgot.

  • What's the worst part of giving a magician a ride home?

    When you get there, you turn into the driveway. Ba-dum-bum! Don't forget to tip your waitress!

  • What do burnt pizza, frozen beer and a pregnant chick have in common?

    Some douchebag forgot to pull it out in time.

  • What do you call a sapling in the military?

    An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)

  • Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 Who?


  • Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

    They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.

  • Who's there ! Bunny ! Bunny who ?

    Bunny thing is I've forgotten now !kn

  • What's ur emergency?

    Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what Goldfish: WHO IS THIS Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW

  • Who?

    Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? I thought you said you would never forget!

  • What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

    I regret nutting!!!

  • Who's There?.........9/11.....9/11 Who?

    I thought you said you'd never forget...."

  • What does Snoop Lion do when he forgets to wear oven mitts?

    Drops it like it's hot.

  • Why did the cosmonaut forget to pack extra underwear?

    Because he was Russian.