Liquor Store Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

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What's the difference between a Catholic and Baptist?

A Catholic will say hello to you in a liquor store.

What do Catholics and Baptists have in common?

Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store.

What's the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist?

A Catholic will say hello when he sees you in the liquor store.

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.

Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

How much for the giant, walk-in medicine cabinet?

Sir, this is a liquor store."

Why did the man who robbed the liquor store with a boomerang get caught?

Because he couldn't throw away the evidence

Why are all liquor stores haunted?

Because they're full of spirits.

Where's a lesbian's favorite place to shop?

The Liquor store

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What do you call ghosts that haunt liquor stores?

Spirits

What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?

A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

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I think therefore I Amazon

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Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store.

What did the mathematician's apprentice say when he didn't get acknowledged?

Notice me sin() !!!

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Let me count the ways... Five.

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What did the french baker ghost said?

BOO! Langerieeee!

What did the pirate's ghost say to his girlfriend?

I love your Boo-ty