How can you tell the difference between...

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?

You can't use a pitchfork on the bowling balls.

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

Store Jokes More Store Jokes

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.

Why was the wall in a store?

Because it's wal-mart.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call a TV reality show where a 50 year old white man is trying to get laid?

To catch a predator. Why do white girls walk around in groups of 3 and 5? Because they can't even! Why do white people have so many pets? Because owning people is not legal anymore Would love to hear more white people-specific jokes :) They seem to be really rare.

Why can't a Christmas tree walk?

Because it ." "Ugh, that's so ."

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

What do you tell a woman that has 37 stab wounds?

Nothing, you already told her 37 times.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

What do a hurricane a tornado a fire and a divorce have in common?

They are four ways you can lose your house!

What do you say to Jennifer Anniston after she has been stabbed?

So noone told you knife was gonna be this way?

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?

He wanted Mark Antony !

Why doesn't Moses buy beer?

He brews it.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why was the nose running?

Cuz it's a running nose

Whats the problem with running through a field of dead babies?

Your erection....

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

What do a drunken cat and the pope have in common?

They're both Catholics.

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

What do you call alcohol in a bird bath?

Tequila mockingbird

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

Why would you take a hammer to bed?

A: So you could hit the sack.

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

Methodist Jokes More Methodist Jokes

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

Baptist Jokes More Baptist Jokes

What's the difference between a Catholic and Baptist?

A Catholic will say hello to you in a liquor store.

Why do Baptists have so many children?

They only use holy condoms.

Liquor Store Jokes More Liquor Store Jokes

What's the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist?

A Catholic will say hello when he sees you in the liquor store.

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.

Hug Jokes More Hug Jokes

What's big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?

The Easter Barney!

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

Stumble Jokes More Stumble Jokes

Why did the horse stumble?

He was de-stable-ized.

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."