Walk Jokes

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

What do you call a radio that walks?

A walkie talkie.

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Why does Juan walk around the school like he owns the place?

Because his dad built it and his mom cleans it

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

What's worse than a Redditor walking into a bar?

The Holocaust.

What's better than winning a silver in the paralympics?

Being able to walk.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

Is this a tumblr meetup?"

Why do white girls always walk around in groups of 3?

Because they can't even!

What has 2 legs but can not walk?

A cripple.

How do you get in the 'Public Urination Club'?

Walk up to the nearest police officer and you're in.

What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house?

I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation.

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What do you call a deaf pokemon go player walking into traffic?

Anything you want they're not going to hear you.

Why do white girls walk in odd numbers?

Because they can't even

Who do you call about stray cats walking around your yard?

Brian Setzer

What does have eyes but can't see, has legs but can't walk, and has wings but can't fly?

A dead bird.

What does aerosmith say when someone asks them for directions?

Walk this way

Why do people who drink milk struggle to walk?

Because they lactose.

What do we do now?

He said never mind we'll walk.

Why do white people's feet get so dirty?

They walk on the sins of their ancestors.

What has two eyes but can't see, two wings but can't fly, and two legs but can't walk?

A dead bird.

What does Mr. T say when he walks into a buffet?

I pity the full!

What has 100 legs but can't walk?

Johnny: 50 pairs of pants? Jimmy: No, A centipede. Jhonny: What? why? Jimmy: Because I squished it

What did the pirate say when he walked into the brothel?

arggg! thar she blows

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street?

Slip not.

What does Reddit and Dating have in common?

It wastes your time and you walk away with either tears or a slight chuckle.

What does an elderly composer use as a walking aide?

A Zimmer frame

What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

Why did the man get kicked out of the "Russian" bar?

Because he walked in.

What do The Walking Dead and Fast & Furious have in common?

dead walkers

What did the blindman say when he walked by the fish market?

Helllllllloooooo (insert your mother's/wife's/sister's/grandmother's name here.)

What do you call a Black man that walks by a Cop?

A Pencil cause he's full of lead!

How do you walk a chicken on a leash?

You pullet.

How many more times will I watch "A Walk To Remember" tonight?

As Mandy Moore times as I want to.

What did the blind man say when he walked into the fish market?

Good morniiiiiiing ladies!"

What do you call a Mexican walking on the moon?

An astronaut you racist..

Why can't a Christmas tree walk?

Because it ." "Ugh, that's so ."

What do you call a snobby criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con desending..

How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million?

Walk in with $2 Million.

Why did the black man walk backwards?

I have no idea, Your Honor, but he was coming right at me and I felt my life was at risk.

What does Fozzie the Bear do when he can't find a ride?

Walk-a Walk-a

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

What do you call a Greek guy walking down the stairs?

Con-Descending

Which joke has the maximum HOT Nuns in it?

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

What do you call a black man walking down the street?

A pedestrian.

What did Mick Jagger say when he walked in on Hugh Hefner in bed with Dennis Weaver?

He said "Hey Hey Hugh Hugh Get Off Of McCould"

What Nationality was Otzi the Caveman?

He wasn't Italian, because he carried work tools, he wasn't Austrian, since he had some brains, he might have been Swiss, since he was outrun by a glacier, but most probably he was a German, because nobody else ever walks in sandals in the mountains.

Why did Snake walk into the bar?

Because he wears an eyepatch and has poor depth perception.

How do you find the Pun Bar?

You just walk into it

What do you get if you walk under a cow?

A pat on the head.

What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men?

Ello, 'ello, 'ello!

What do you do with an elephant with three balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish store?

Hello, ladies"

What did the cowboy say as he walked into a German car garage?

Audi

Why a fruit doesn't walk?

Because fruit flies

How is my wife doing?

Doctor: I'm so sorry. The accident has left her in a vegetative-like state and I don't think she'll ever recover. She can barely move her limbs, if at all, and will be confined to a bed or wheelchair without the ability to ever walk again. You'll need to care for her 24/7, clothe her, feed her, bathe her, and she'll have no control of her bladder or bowels. Again, I'm so, so, sorry... ..... ..... ..... Just kidding! She's dead.

Why do girls always walk in groups of odd numbers?

Because they can't even...

What did the doctor say to the strange beer that walked into his clinic?

What ails you?

Why did the junkie walk into the pet store?

To buy some quack croakaine!

What do The Walking Dead and the Fast and Furious series have in common?

They both have dead walkers.

Why did Jesus have to walk everywhere?

He drove a Ford.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the quadriplegic (crippled) Olympics?

Walking.

What's his name?

A man walks into a bedroom and sees a hot, naked woman lying face-down on the bed. Q: What's his name? A: Willie Turner Q: What's name? A: Betty Will

What do you call a snobish criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you call an arrogant con walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

What do you say to Simba if he's walking too slow?

Mufasa.

How does Harry Potter travel about?

Walking -Jk Rolling

What did the drunkard say when he walked into an Israeli bar?

Hebrews?

Which dinosaur walks with a limp?

a Myfeetasaur

What is the difference between walking a dog in America and China?

The spelling.

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

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