Polish Jokes
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Where did the frog say his family came from?
They are German and a tad-Polish"
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What do they call a Polish astronomer?
Copernicus.
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Why do Polish people keep empty bottles in their refrigerator?
For people that don't want anything to drink
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What is a Polish person's favorite weapon?
A Warsaw...
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How do you confuse a polish laborer?
Lay down three shovels and tell him to take his pick.
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How long is the flight?
A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."
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What dog is the worst at polishing a turd?
A poodull
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How did the polish terrorist burn his lips?
Burned them on a cars tailpipe when he tried blowing it up.
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How many Polish people does it take to be pallbearers at a funeral?
Seven. Six to carry the casket and one to drag the body
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Why do Polish hate Cauchy's dog?
hint on Cauchy-Riemann theorem) A: Because it leaves residues at each Pole.
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Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.
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Why do all polish names end in SKI ?
They can't spell TOBOGGAN !
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What do you call a black brick with three holes in it?
A polish bowling ball.
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Why did the introvert polish his shoes regularly?
So he could look at others' faces.
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What do you say when a Polish magician performs a magic trick?
Nailed it
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How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads?
Chasing parked cars.
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How do you stop the Polish army on horseback?
Unplug the merry-go-round.
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What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard?
A new last name!
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How can you tell if a groom is Polish?
He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt.
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How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
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Why did the polish person marry someone from the other side of the country?
Because opposite poles attract
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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.
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How do you make Polish sausage ?
First you gotta find a retarded pig...
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What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?
a new last name
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What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A new last name.
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How do you sink a polish ship?
you put it in the water
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How do you sink a Polish battleship?
Put it in water
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What do you call a Polish chicken stuck in a tree?
Poll tree!
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How do you stop a Polish tank?
Shoot the guy that's pushing it
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What did the Cherokee-Polish couple name their firstborn?
Running Stupid
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What do you call a Polish dancer?
A stripper
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What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?
A new last name.
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How do you break a Polish man's finger?
Punch him in the nose.
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What is something long and hard that a Polish Bride gets on her wedding day?
A last name.
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What do Polish arctic researchers do at elections?
They have a polar pole poll.
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What do you call a Polish airplane?
A Jet-ski.
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How do you say "touchdown" in Polish?
Gronkowski
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What was the name of the Polish limo driver?
Piccop Andropoff.
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What's the difference between Italian and Polish sausage?
About 2-3 inches.
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What do Germans and acetone have in common?
They are both good at removing the Polish!
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What sound does a Polish crow make?
Krakow
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Why do Polish people's names end in 'ski'?
Because they can't spell toboggan.
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Why do all polish names end in ski?
Because they can't spell toboggan (This joke brought to you by a 90 yr old polish man I take care of at a nursing home)
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What do you call a Polish person going down a hill?
A Rollie Pollie
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Why do polish people all have ski at the end of their name?
Why do polish people all have ski at the end of their name? Because they can't spell toboggan.
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Why do Polish names end in "ski" ?
A: Because they can't spell tobbagan.
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What do you do when you stumble upon a one-armed Polish man stuck in a tree?
You wave!
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What do you call a Polish aardvark?
A Polaark!
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How do you know a car is from Poland?
The Polish.
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What would happen if you ate yeast and polish?
You would rise and shine.
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Why are hot pickle buns so popular in polish women's prisons?
They're made out of dill dough.
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What's big and long that a Polish girl gets on her wedding night?
A new last name
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What do you call the shiniest people?
Polish
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Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?
A: So the cops can find the handles.
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How do you stop a Polish battletank?
Shoot the guy pushing it.
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How do you call a spiritually significant Polish guy?
Totem Pole.
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What does a Polish guy do on the ice?
He breaks in.
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How do you sink the Polish navy?
Put it in water
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What do you call a polish guy on a boat?
A fishing pole
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What is Polish roulette?
It's similar to Russian roulette, but instead of a revolver it's played with an automatic pistol.
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Why did the Polish government have to finally ban water-polo throughout the country?
Too many horses were drowning.
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What's a funny non-racist joke a Polish person would laugh at?
Just trying to make a Polish girl I like laugh
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What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard?
His surname
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What's the difference between the Polish and polish?
No one bats an eye if you use chemicals to remove polish, but if you use chemicals to remove the Polish, most of the world will turn against you
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What do you call a Polish fisherman?
A fishing pole.
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How do you sink a polish war ship?
You put it in water
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What's delaying the Polish space program?
A: Development of a working match.
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How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast?
They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving
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What happened to the Polish dog?
He chewed off 3 legs and was still caught in the trap