Al Gore's the stiff one.
Paperback
The Secret Service
The secret service is the only police that gets in trouble if a black person dies. Shamelessly stolen from the correspondents' dinner.
A: If they sent her to a public school the secret service would be out-gunned!
Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."
Close, Bill, but no cigar!"
Little Seizures
Burned them on a cars tailpipe when he tried blowing it up.
They can't bond with each other, no matter how hard they try.
Shoot the people pushing it.
With a blue elephant gun. You hold his trunk until he turns blue, then you shoot him with the blue elephant gun Edit: My 5 year old nephew loves this joke.
because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)
you cantaloupe. i just thought of this. probably not the first person to, but i certainly didn't steal it.
Just a couple of shots
A Paul Walker.
Preppy le Pew
A duck. ... with hiccups.
Tell him he's a duck.
Because people were dying to get in!
What did Jesus say to Mohammed 'I died for you' What did Mohammed say in return 'How many did you take with you '