Summer Jokes

What's a hipsters favorite season?

Summer, they like it before it's cool

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What do you call a 3 legged cow named Summer in the winter?

Summer...Her name's summer.

Where did the cantaloupe go for summer vacation?

John Cougar Mellencamp

How does ISIS cool down in the summer time?

In a blow up pool

Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer olympics?

Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

Why did Mother Nature trip the last day of summer?

To make it Fall.

How did Jesus get his beach bod for the summer?

Cross fit

Why did the hipster where a toque in the summer?

So he could say he wore it before it was cool.

What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer?

an heir conditioner.

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What do you call an orange cat in summer?

Shedder Cheese!

Where do young cantaloupes go in the summer?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

What did the bear do to be labeled a hipster?

He hibernated in the summer.

Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics?

Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US.

Where do kids with ADHD go for the summer?

Concentration camp.

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A puddle"

What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer?

Woofleball

How does a detective stay cool in hot summer?

He works on a cold case.

Why did the German boy go to Summer camp?

I don't know he did notsay!

Where do pirates go in the summer?

In ARRgentina.

Star Wars: Dad Jokes: The Best Worst Jokes and Puns from a Galaxy Far, Far Away . . . .

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What was the almond tree doing all damn summer long?

Nuttin'

How many tax advisors does it take to change a light bulb?

In the summer there is a tax deductible convention in Hawaii dealing exactly with this issue."

What are the hottest days during summer?

Sun-days

Why does Drake hate summer?

Because you start wearing less and going out more

Where do admins go for summer break?

Banned camp.

Why is a dog so warm in Summer?

He wears a coat and pants.

Where did the ADHD kid spend his summer?

Dark) At a concentration camp.

Why do mathematicians think that spring is summer?

It's not their fault. May tricks them.

What did one tornado say to the other?

A. "Let's twist again like we did last summer...."

What do triangles do in the summer?

They tan.

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What dance do you do when summer is over?

Tango (tan go).

What did the bee to the other bee in summer ?

Swarm here isn't it !

What did you learn at summer camp?

KID: We built a generator out of sticks and mud MOM: A generator For what KID: To charge our iPods

Why was the hipster wearing a scarf during the summer?

He liked wearing scarves before it got cool.

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Mexico Jokes More Mexico Jokes

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico , and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

Why does Mexico always do so poorly in the olympics?

Anyone who could run, swim or jump made it to the USA.

Xl Jokes More Xl Jokes

Why was the dieting Roman so thrilled?

His toga size went from L to XL.

Which phone??

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What has 3 heads, 2 legs, and 4 arms?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?

They only had 2 trucks

Cool Jokes More Cool Jokes

Why did Prince William lose his cool?

He wasn't properly heir conditioned.

What the pepper say to the angry chilli?

If you don't cool down, I'm going to get jalapeno business

Summer Olympic Jokes More Summer Olympic Jokes

Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics?

Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US.

Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer olympics?

Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.

John Cougar Jokes More John Cougar Jokes

Where do young cantaloupes go in the summer?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

Where did the cantaloupe go for summer vacation?

John Cougar Mellencamp

Microsoft Jokes More Microsoft Jokes

How does Microsoft count to 10?

1, 2, 3, 95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.

Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.

Person Jokes More Person Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up at night, wondering if there's a dog.

What do you call a person with a nose but no body?

Nobody knows