How do you talk to an angel" Me: I don't know, Skype I guess?

How do you hold her close to where you are" Me: Aren't most angels men

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know a woman is wearing tights?

Her knees swell up when she farts.

How do you know a blonde likes you?

A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many Irish does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in the socket and the other to drink until the room starts spinning!

How many Dell Service Reps does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, I am on hold.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

How many Vietnam Vets does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: YOU DON'T KNOW, MAN, YOU WEREN'T THERE!!! YOU DON'T KNOW!!!

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What's the difference between an introverted physicist and an extroverted physicist?

An extroverted physicist looks at shoes when they're talking to you.

What do you call a little person who can talk to ghosts and just escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Angel Jokes More Angel Jokes

Whoa- is that Elvis?

Angel- no, it's an impersonator M: Wow, is that... A: listen man all we got is impersonators

What's the difference between an angel and a Scotsman?

To one you say, "Hey you, get off my cloud!" The other: "Hey McLoed, get off my ewe!"

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Why won't people know when you replace words with instruments?

Idk, accordion to research I guess.

What kind of fish would be good to tune a piano?

Oh, you guessed it right ... the tuna fish!