How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

How many Librans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Er two. Or maybe one. No --- on second thoughts make that two. Is that okay with you

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What is 32% black, 45% white... ...gets lit up and changes to blue and red at night?

Chicago.

Why did the light turn red?

You would too if you were caught changing in the middle of the street!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to change a light bulb?

A: More guns.

How many Ferguson protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None they can't change anything.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What happened to the gun that kept randomly shooting?

He got fired.

Why did the DJ get fired as a waiter?

Because he'd drop everything

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How do you spot Al Gore in a room full of secret service agents?

A: He's the stiff one.

What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors?

A: A superior being.

Matter Jokes More Matter Jokes

Why does no one care that space is a vacuum?

Oh it doesn't really matter.

How many femenists does it *really* take to change a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter how many femenists try, they can't change anything. Alternatively, they just hold it up and wait for the world to revolve around them.

Plenty Jokes More Plenty Jokes

What do you give an elephant with big feet ?

Plenty of room !

How many 'Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A 'Real Woman' would have plenty of Real Men around to do it.

Provide Jokes More Provide Jokes

Why do arabs use Colgate before going to the airport?

because it provides cavity protection

How many /r/twoxchromosomes posters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. 1 to screw in the lightbulb, and the other 9 to provide emotional support.

Itch Jokes More Itch Jokes

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

How many assholes does it take to change a lightbulb?

It doesn't matter, mine itches so bad it's on fire, providing plenty of light for everyone in the room!