When punching a toddler, how hard is too hard?

Calm down... I'm not talking about MY kid. I know how hard to punch her. I'm her mother.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why are lemons yellow?

They don't know it either - that's why they are so sour

What did the bolt say to the nut?

Washer? I don't even know 'er!"

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

How are kids like piano keys?

All the black ones are accidentals.

What do Catholic priests and the Zika Virus have in common?

They both give kids a little head.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't. They just talk about when it did work.

What will men do for pleasure at that time?

God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.

Punch Jokes More Punch Jokes

How do you shut up a deaf person?

Punch them in the hands.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a computer?

You only have to punch the information into a computer once.

Toddler Jokes More Toddler Jokes

What's the difference between Gabe Newell and a toddler?

A toddler can count past two...

What do you get when you drop a piano on a toddler?

A flat minor

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What's the difference between a brothel and a circus?

Your mother never ran away to join the circus.

Who's there? Budweiser. Budweiser who?

Budweiser your mother naked?

Calm Jokes More Calm Jokes

How do you calm down an astronaut?

you give him space.

How do you end an argument with a woman?

Tell her to calm down. You're dead now but the argument is over.