Clap Jokes

  • How do you make an orphans hands bleed?

    Tell them to clap until daddy gets home

  • Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

    Because they're dead.

  • How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."

  • What do you call a group of sorority girls/fraternity guys standing in a circle?

    A round of applause ...because they all have the clap.

  • What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together?

    The clap.

  • Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

    Because it's dead.

  • What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?

    Santapplause !

  • What has hands but can't clap?

    Stephen Hawking

  • Why can't dinosaurs clap?

    Because they're dead.

  • Why can't T-Rexs clap their hands?

    Because they're all dead

  • How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

    One, and ten people to stand around clapping and saying "Aww, how brave."