Pilot Jokes

What do you call a black man flying an airplane?

Pilot.

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What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

Who survived?

The pilot who jumped out with a parachute.

Why's Guantanamo Bay full of actors?

Because they all shot pilots.

Why did the plane crash?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread! Now he's toast

Why did the airplane crash into the building?

BECAUSE THE PILOT WAS A LOAF OF BREAD!

How do you know you're talking to a pilot?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why did the plane crash into the mountain?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call a Chinese pilot?

A pilot you racist!

Why did the plane crash into the ocean?

The pilot was a loaf of bread

Who's there? Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock KNOCK KNOCK. Who is there?

The pilot.

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Why did the pilot hit the Alps?

To get to the other side.

How do you find the pilot at a party?

He'll tell you.

Why did the English major break up with the pilot?

Because the pilot kept ending sentences with a preposition, over.

What do you call a black guy who flies a plane?

A PILOT, YOU RACIST!

What do you call a black guy who can fly a plane?

A pilot what else would you call him? You racist prick!

What did the pilot say to the co-pilot right before the UPS plane crash in Alabama?

Too soon.

Why did the airplane crash?

The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why was the actor detained by airport security?

He said he was in town to shoot a pilot.

What kind of pizza do pilots like?

Plain.

Why did the airplane fall out of the sky?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

What did the pilot who fail flying school did when he went home?

Got high.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

How can you tell if there is a pilot in the room?

He will tell you.

What do you call an asian who flies planes?

A pilot.

How did the pilot like his hotdog?

Plane.

Why was the pilot jealous of the chef?

Because of his ground thyme.

Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land?

Because they really wanted a third's eye view!

What did the pilot say when his plane wasn't flying?

Aw man, that's a drag."

How many pilots does it take to change a light bulb?

None it is done by the automatic pilot.

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How do you tell if there's a Pilot in the room?

They've already told you.

What's your heigth and position?

Pilot: Well I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left.

What should we call ourselves?

How about 22 pilots "Idk. Seems like an awful lot of pilots" 21 pilots "Omg"

What's the difference between god and pilots?

God doesn't think he's a pilot.

What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot?

Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another.

Why was the pilot dying?

Because he had terminal cancer.

How can you tell if someone is a pilot?

They'll just tell you.

What do you call a pilot who tries to tell a joke but gets distracted and crashes his plane into a building?

A comickaze

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

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Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

Why Couldn't the Ancient Egyptians Build a Plane?

Because, it wasn't very Pharoah-dynamic.

What did one tower say to the other?

I've got a plane to catch

Parachute Jokes More Parachute Jokes

Whats in his backpack?

Answer: Parachute

What did the shooting range instructor say to the guy in a wheelchair?

Parachute

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

How many successive 'ands' can you fit into a sentence with it still making sense?

The landlord at The Dog And Duck pub needed a new sign to hang above the door, so he contacted his signwriter. The signwriter arrived a week later with the new sign, hung it above the door, and asked the landlord what he thought. The landlord replied with, "I like it. However, I do feel that there should be bigger spaces between ' ' and ' ', and ' ' and ' '".

21 Jokes More 21 Jokes

How many Honor Guards does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 22 one to screw it in 21 to shoot the bulb.

Where does Fred Weasley shop?

Forever 21.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Jesus and a Mexican?

Jesus didn't have a bunch of tattoos of a Mexican...

What's the difference between a worm and an apple ?

Have you ever tried worm pie !

Jet Engine Jokes More Jet Engine Jokes

What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

Whats the difference between the FAA and a jet engine?

The engine stops whining after the plane lands.

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

What do black guys have that's longer than most white men's and gets even bigger when they touch a woman?

Their criminal record.

How many black guys does it take to screw a lightbulb?

You cant count them when its dark

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What sound does a Chinese doorbell make?

Ching Chong

How Long can a Chinese name be?

Yoda