Q Jokes

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

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A: An Ohioan who can read. Q: What's an Ohioan? A: A Kentuckian who can count. Q: What's a Kentuckian? A: A West Virginian with a branching family tree. Q: And who the hell are you to be making all these rude judgments? A: Trauma counselor for tour guides.

How do you get from Iran to Iraq without moving?

You switch the 'n' with 'q'.

What's Isis' favorite race?

The 100-meter daesh. Q: What's Isis' favorite punctuation mark? A: The em-daesh. Q: How much cinnamon does the Isis recipe for gingersnaps call for? A: Just a daesh.

What letter has to wait in line the longest?

What did capital 'O' say to capital 'Q'?

Hey, put that thing back in your trousers!"

Who is the coolest guy in the Hospital?

A. The Ultra Sound guy. Q. Who is the second coolest? A. The Hip replacement dude.

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

my girlfriend who's a high school teacher heard this from a student the other day) Q: What do you call a cow with 3 legs? A: Lean Beef Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs? A: Your mom

What did "O" said to "Q"?

Dude, your is hanging out"

How do you get a baby into a shoebox?

A. With a blender. Q. How do you get a baby out of a shoebox? A. With a straw.

What does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress?

Q: what does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress? A: a Freudian slip

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Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?

Q. They think their picture is being taken.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

Why did the chicken?

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road naked A: Because chickens don't wear clothes.

What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick?

Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance --------- A: At the snowball. Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick

How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act?

A: Sorta Q: Will you get naked A: Yes HIRED!

Why did the doggy cross the road?

A:To get to the bone! Q:Why did the bone cross the road A: To get away!

Why couldn't R get to P?

He had to wait in a Q!

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas A: He could feel his presence!

What's the difference between O and Q?

One had to P.

How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?

Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

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Why couldn't the leopard play Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

A: Because he was always spotted.

What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes?

A: Deterrent.

What is the best letter who represent a man?

A favorite joke of my mother) The Q because is a big zero with a small tail.

What do a feminist and a policeman have in common?

Q: What do a feminist and a policeman have in common A: They're both trigger-happy.

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What is similar between students with mental health issues and nurses giving vaccinations?

They both tend to shoot up schools.

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What did the police officer say to the man who was urinating publicly?

Urine trouble, mate!"

What does it sound like when a Pterodactyl urinates?

There is no sound... The P is silent.

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What travels down an alley and has holes in it?

A bowling ball. Or Bruce Wayne's parents.

What's the name of the Iraqi basketball team?

Alley-oop Akbar

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What did the cop say to Boris Yosanavich after pulling him over for speeding?

Quit Russian.

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