Std Jokes

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

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What's the difference between STD's and Pokemon?

I still haven't caught any Pokemon.

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

What musical instrument do people with STDs play?

The herpsichord.

Why did the stop sign get an STD?

Because it had a 4-way.

What was the first thing Abraham Lincoln told his friends when they asked him how he got an STD?

Four whore and seven beers ago....

This joke may have profanity.

What's in an STD salad?

green pees

What do you call a hippopotamus with an STD?

A herpepotamus.

What STD does a hip black man get?

Kool-AIDs

What's the worst STD you can get from a black man?

Pregnancy.

What kind of STD does a blonde woman give you?

Herp-n-derp-es

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What kind of STD does a bird get?

Chirpies. :-)

What STD is found most commonly among lesbians?

Carpet burn

What's an STD's favorite kind of pizza?

Heperoni

What STD did Forrest Gump catch?

NSFW Jennytal Warts

This joke may have profanity.

What do you call an STD for homeless people?

Hermit Crabs

What did the doctor give the Asari with an STD?

Anti-biotics

What is the only thing more permanent than a Sharpie marker?

A STD.

What do you call a criminal with an STD?

A herpetrator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD?

One is a cunning runt.

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What STD did the US Soccer player get during the 2014 World Cup?

Ghana-RIO!

What STD can you catch from Mayor McCheese?

None, but you can get food poisoning.

What kind of venereal disease does a Stormtrooper get?

An AT-STD.

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Gatoraid Jokes More Gatoraid Jokes

What is the worst animal std?

Gatoraids

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

What do you call a Pixar film about Carpets?

A Rug's Life.

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Contract Jokes More Contract Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What do you call an STD that is contracted in your ear?

Hearing AIDS

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's the difference between drunk people and black people?

Drunk people are found bars. Black people are found them.

Who is the hardest person to find in hide and seek?

Daniel Morcombe

Pregnancy Jokes More Pregnancy Jokes

How do you test for pregnancy in Harlem?

See if the tampon's cotton was picked.

How are cancer and pregnancy similar?

They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy.

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What do you call a black man that summons the dead?

A Nergomancer

Who lives in the white house?

the black man

Cunning Runt Jokes More Cunning Runt Jokes

What's the difference between a tribe of clever pygmies and a girls' track team?

One is a group of cunning runts.

Whats the difference between a smart midget and a venereal disease?

Ones a cunning runt...

Lesbian Jokes More Lesbian Jokes

What do you get when you mix a lesbian and a platypus?

A lickalottapus.

What do you call a bunch of Lesbians in a closet?

A liquor cabinet.