If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.
Ceramic
They weren't born yesterday.
A pao-erful change
I bought some thyme yesterday.
Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)
For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.
Well, the cook stirs today's meal while the homo stirs yesterday's.
Swine flu
U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.
It wasn't born yesterday.
9GAG
Paperback
Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.
Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet
2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.
Yesterday
Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.
Because I couldn't find it yesterday."
Mothers Day is this upcoming Sunday.
Robert" "Since when is Robert your best friend " "Yesterday."
It wasn't born yesterday
Diego
Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about " Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"
Student : Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident. DIE
Asked the patients. "You only have 24-hours to live." "And the really bad news " I should have told you yesterday.
Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997
I was 10 years old yesterday.
A keurig. Joke written by my 9 year old son.
Wheres pop corn?
Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.
Karma-vore
Because I already reddit
It's impossible, they only know how to turn to the left.
He became a vegetarian.
The Thai fighter
Surely you will have guessed - the brooth fairy.
Wasn't there a joke before posted about asking what a girl would do for $20 or something A dirty joke I'm trying to find it but I can't....
Three. One to post it, another to post a better punchline in the comment section, and another to repost it with the new punchline.
A swine swine.
Pretty much the same as anyone else.
They don't want to be spotted.