Hide Jokes

Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in trees?

Because they are really good at it

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Why do you never play hide & seek with mountains?

Mountains peak.

What is the best place to hide a dead body?

On the second page of google.

Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

Why do elephants paint their toe nails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. You've never seen an elephant in a cherry tree? They're pretty good at it.

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Shows you it works then. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys picking cherries.

What is yellow, fluffy, and hides your slippers?

A Labrador Deceiver.

Why are Pokemon terrible to play hide and seek with?

Because they pikachu

What animal is best at playing hide and seek?

The airplane.

What's the difference between a woman and a man?

A woman will buy something on sale even if she doesn't need it. A man will buy something he needs at full price. Then, what is the difference between a black woman and a black man? The black woman will steal something she doesn't need. The black man goes to jail because you can't hide diapers under a shirt.

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?

Because he was always spotted.

Jokes for Kids: The Best Jokes, Riddles, Tongue Twisters, Knock-Knock jokes, and One liners for kids: Kids Joke books ages 7-9 8-12

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How do you starve a neurosurgeon?

Hide his paycheck with his kids.

How many Sandpeople does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

You never can tell. The Sandpeople always ride in single file to hide their numbers.

How did Lex Luthor hide his money laundering from superman?

He used a krypton-currency.

Why can a Cheetah not hide?

Because it's always spotted.

How do you starve a right wing christian?

Hide their money in their bible.

How can working with cow hide help on a first date?

As if she's going to lay there and be swayed by some new buck.

How do you protect yourself from ghosts?

Hide in the living room.

What do you call a blonde in a closet?

Last years hide and seek champion

How do you make the hippie run out of money?

You hide daddies credit card under a bar of soap.

How did voldemort look like when he was hiding in albania?

Pretty gaunt

The Best Worst Dad Jokes: All the Puns, Quips, and Wisecracks You Need to Torment Your Kids

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Who was the hide-and-seek champion of 2005?

Nobody knows, they haven't found him yet.

What is the worst place to hide in a hospital?

The ICU (I-see-you!)

Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide & seek with?

An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus

Why would people always stand still to hide from Martin Luther King Jr.?

His vision was based on movements.

What do you call a skeleton in a closet?

The hide and seek champion.

What game does a black dad and son play forever?

Hide n' seek

Where's the best place to hide a body?

Stephen Hawking's personal gym.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?

Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? A: Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing the chickens.

Why can't leopards hide?

Because they are always spotted!

Where's the best place to hide an elephant?

Dad: Where is the best place to hide an elephant? Me: I don't know, behind a big rock? Dad: In a tree silly. Me: In a tree? Dad: When's the last time you saw an elephant in a tree?

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How do you hide money from a Republican?

Hide it in a science book.

How do you starve an black man?

Hide his food stamps under his work boots.

What's the name of that German guy that keeps hiding my stuff around the house?

Alzheimer, Grandma.

Why can't Thor play the piano or hide n seek with his brother?

He can never find the Loki.

Where's the best place to hide money from a Mexican?

Under a bar of soap.

Where's the best place to hide during a zombie apocalypse?

Radio Shack. Not even the brain dead would go there.

Where is the best place to hide a hippie's weed?

Under the soap.

How does a tauren hide in a cherry tree?

He paints his hooves red.

What's the difference between babies and love?

Love doesn't burn. What's worst part about making love to a dead baby. Digging up the coffin. How long does take to play hide and seek with a dead baby? It depends how small the pieces are.

What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach?

Hiding the erection.

How do you hide money from a hippie?

Put it under the soap.

Where do you hide an airport?

IN PLANE SIGHT!

Why are the British known for keeping a stiff upper lip?

Because it hides their teeth.

Who is the hardest person to find in hide and seek?

Daniel Morcombe

Why did the elephant paint his balls green?

Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?

Hide and Go Seek Champion, 1973.

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden?

By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage

How do you hide from imminent retribution?

Karmaflage!

What do you call an amphibian in hiding?

Incognitoad.

Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs?

Because, he doesn't want anyone to know he's screwing a chicken.

How do you catch a rabbit?

You hide in a field and make carrot noises.

Where should Aaron Hernandez have hidden the evidence?

The Cowboys' endzone because no one goes there

Why did the baby squirrel wear a diaper?

To hide his nuts!!

What's brown and hides in the attic?

The Diarrhea of Anne Frank

Why don't orphans play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them.

What's a narcoleptics favorite game?

Hide and go sleep.

How about a dirty one as well?

Want to hear a clean joke? Bob took a bath. With Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? (Punchline hidden so you don't accidentally read)

What's the good part about having alzheimer's?

You can hide your own easter eggs.

How many Sand People does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

No one knows. They ride single file to hide their numbers.

Why can't you play hide and go seek with a Pokmon?

Because he'll peek-at-chu!

What kind of cheese do you use to hide a small horse?

Mascarpone!

How do you hide an elephant in a fridge?

You remove his slippers and open the door . You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away.

How do ants hide from aardvarks?

They disguise themselves as uncles!

Why are vegans so salty?

To hide the fact that their food has no flavor.

What is a parrot's favorite game ?

Hide and Speak !

Why does the Pirate Wear Camouflage Underwear?

To hide his booty.

How do you starve a worthless mooch?

By hiding his employment check in his work boots.

What does the Pillsbury Dough boy hide under his apron?

Dough nuts!

Why don't violists play hide and seek?

A: Because no one will look for them.

Where's the safest place to hide money from a man?

Under the soap

How does an elephant climb a tree?

A: He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up.

Why do elephants hide behind trees?

To trip ants.

Why did the little pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell "Hogwash!"

What abs?

Me: "The abs hiding under this protective layer of you're grounded."

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

What is a mouse's favourite game ?

Hide and squeak !

Where do you hide cocaine in orphanage?

Right under the children's noses

Where do all the good boys go to hide away?

r/cringepics Based off Daya's song "Hide Away"

What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek ?

Fowl play !

Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide &amp seek with?

An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus

Why are you going through my phone?

BF: 'Do you have something to hide ' Me: 'I'm gonna have a body to hide if you keep it up.'

What do you call a black guy at college?

A miracle. Edit: I've hidden this post as I realized it was stupid and too offensive. I'm sorry, it was overly racist.

What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone!

Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese?

Because he's not a rat.

Where's the best place to hide a body in texas?

Oops. Wrong subreddit!

How do you hide a elephant in a cherry tree?

Paint it's balls red. Howed Tarzan die Picking cherries.

Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic?

because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.

What do you call Jamal's dad during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years?

Hide n' Seek World Champion 2010-2016

Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?

Nobody will look for them.

What does a barber yell when he plays hide-and-go-seek?

Ready or not, hair I comb!

How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?

A: One.

What shall I do?

Hide the tiddley winks.

What are you hiding in there?

nuthin Vin Diesel noises from closet M: Is Vin Diesel in there -...yes Vin Diesel: from closet No.

What is Brazil's favorite game right now?

Hide and go zika

Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors?

Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.

Where is the best place to hide a lawyer?

In a brief case.

What if we need to hide bodies?

Me: I love you.

What is the difference between British and American schoolchildren?

British schoolchildren survive hide-and-seek.

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