Netflix Jokes

What does the result of this election and Netflix have in common?

Orange is the new Black

The Best Worst Dad Jokes: All the Puns, Quips, and Wisecracks You Need to Torment Your Kids

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What do whales do on dates?

Netflix and Krill

What did Mr. Freeze do with his wife on their first date?

Netflix and chill.

What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby's house?

Netflix and pill

What does a drug addict like to do in their free time?

Netflix and pills :D

Why couldn't Mario ever watch Netflix with Peach?

Because the princess was always on another Castle.

What's the best thing to do when your tinder date never shows?

Netflix and Jill

Why were they called the dark ages?

Because there were so many knights! Credit: watching Mr. D on Netflix

What is a whales favorite pasttime?

Netflix and krill.

What do Netflix and diarrhea have in common?

Both stream instantly.

Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix?

He liked chillin.

No Pun Intended (The Last of Us Joke Books)

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How long are you going to keep throwing that in my face?

Netflix: Because you watched "The Wedding Planner"

What are your desires?

Me: My desires are..imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with...Unconventional.

What do you ask a Mexican girl you like?

Netflix and chili

Why would the Queen let Netflix use her likeness in "The Crown"?

She probably gets royalties

What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?

Hope you're ready for the next episode

What do Worf and Jadzia like to do to relax?

Netflix and Trill!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why don't you ask Joseph, the carpenter?

God: Uh huge grin cos I'm banging his wife raises hand up top

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

Pug Jokes More Pug Jokes

What are your desires?

Me: My desires are..imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with...Unconventional.

What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Pug?

A pugilist!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal?

The one percent

Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink?

The elephants are using them as tampons

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

What to Bill Cosby and Peter Pan have in common?

Rufi-ooooooo!

What do you hear when Bill Cosby walks into the room?

Zzzzip)

Chillin Jokes More Chillin Jokes

Why did the peadophile sign up for Netflix?

He liked chillin.

What were people doing during the last ice age?

Chillin.

Chill Jokes More Chill Jokes

What's up dog?

Dad: Just chilling homie, what's up with you!

How do beekeepers keep their bees so chill?

They smoke them out.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why did Jesus take three days to resurrect after dying on the cross?

Because the date wasn't nailed down.

Where do lightning bolts go on dates?

To cloud 9

D Jokes More D Jokes

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?

He whale-d

What kind of sounds does Jaimie Foxx make in the bedroom?

No sound at all, the D is silent