Wash Jokes
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What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?
They wash themselves.
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What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
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What's white and washes your socks?
Your wife.
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How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car?
One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was.
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Why is it OK to wash an American flag in hot water?
Because these colors don't run.
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What do you call a retired professional swimmer?
Washed up.
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What did one washed up Power Ranger say to the other?
It's Morphine Time!
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What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old?
The water washes away her tears
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What does Batman use to wash his hair?
Conditioner Gordon.
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Why you should wash your car?
WASH YOUR CAR BECAUSE IT IS DIRTIER THAN MILEY CYRUS!
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Why do I wash my clothes in TIDE?
because it's too cold out-tide.
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What do you get when you mix a Mexican and an octopus?
I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.
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Why should you wash your hair with counterfeit feces?
Because it's sham poo.
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What where Adam's first words to Eve?
Don't wash it in there, you'll make the fish smell like that!"
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How do you tell a good joke on reddit?
Wash it up over and over again until you get gold!
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What did the soap say to the hands as they were being washed?
I think we're in sink."
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How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss?
The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself
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What's the difference between your mom and a drug dealer?
Your mom can wash her crack and re-sell it.
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What does Snoop Dogg use to wash his clothes?
bleotch!!
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What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder ?
Bubble and squeak !
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What do pessimists use... Q: What do pessimists use to wash their clothes?
A: Deterrent.
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Why do Eskimos wash in Tide?
Because it's too cold to wash out Tide
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What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf
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What do you call two Mormons caught in the rain?
Washing your whites on a rinsed cycle.
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What's the hardest part of washing a vegetable?
putting them back in the wheelchair
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Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
That's where you wash all your vegetables!
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How Does Sean Connery Wash His Dishes?
Like a Bosch!
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How do you clean a spear?
Put it through the Wash.
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Which rock band always wash their hands before a concert?
OCDC
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Where's your wedding ring?
I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."
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Why do towels get dirty?
If we use towels just to dry ourselves after washing off dirt and what not. Why do they get dirty??
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What do people with an extra chromosome wash their clothes with?
Downy.
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Why did God invent women?
You think he's gonna wash the dishes
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What do rappers use to wash their clothes?
BLEEE-AAAACH!
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How does a Syrian family have a meal?
The men provide the food and the women do the cooking, leaving the children to wash up afterwards.
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Where do Floridians wash their clothes?
In Fort Launderdale.
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Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road?
Do they really think someone will take it Do you think I should wash it first
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What happened to the cowboy when he said that he was sick of washing cowhides at his side of the dairy?
He was sent to the udder side
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How does a Reaver clean his spear?
He puts it in the Wash.
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Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide?
Because it was too cold out tide.
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What washes up on small beaches?
Microwaves!
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Where do fish wash ?
In a river basin !
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What do you get when you mix an octopus and a Mexican?
I don't know, but it sure can wash a lot of dishes.
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What do you do if an epileptic has a seizure in your bath?
Throw in your washing.
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How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?
I forgot to wet the soap.
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What washes up on tiny beaches?
Microwaves.
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What does a cannibal do after dumping their girlfriend?
They wipe, flush, and wash their hands
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Why do people wash their clothes in Tide?
Because it's too cold out tide.
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What do you call tiny waves that wash up onto a beach?
Microwaves!
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What do you call Washington State after a long rain storm?
Washed a Ton State. I woke up with that joke in my head this morning. My brain is weird. Had to share it with someone.
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Why do Eskimos wash their clothes in Tide?
Because it's too cold outtide
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What does a frog say when it washes car windows?
Rub it rub it rub it.
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What does John Cena wash his hair with?
Champ who
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Why didn't Natalie Wood take a shower on the boat?
She wanted to wash up on shore
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What do you get when water washes away dirt?
a road
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Why don't dirty commies shower?
Because they don't want to wash away their Marx.
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What did the Klansman say to the Muslim?
Psst...Who washes your ... sheets
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What do you say to a black guy after washing his dog?
Yo dawg I washed yo dog.
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How do Reavers clean their spears?
They send them through the Wash.