What's the difference between a political speech and a stand-up comic show?

They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference from a terrorist and a psychopath?

A llahu akbar

What is the difference between a poker card and Africa?

The sooner is the Ace of Spades and the latter, a Space of AIDS.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

What an evolved soul?

How'd he know Me: The judge told him.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink?

So women know where to stand in the kitchen.

Why dont't feminists go to church?

They can't stand saying "amen"

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Who else is watching and laughing their a$$ off?

Turns out Martha Stewart is a boss

Why does nobody laugh at zombie-Peter Pan's jokes?

He always tells them with a dead Pan face.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What does natalia portman have on the ends of her feet?

her natalie

How do you end a party in a redneck trailer park?

Flush the punch bowl

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did Luke Skywalker bluff in a game of poker?

He heard Obi-Wan in his head saying Out, I shall let myself.

What's the worst thing you can hear while taking the bus?

ALLAHUUUUUU AKBARRRR

Audience Jokes More Audience Jokes

How did I know my joke was not alright with my audience?

They all left.

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

Comic Jokes More Comic Jokes

What's the difference between a political speech and a stand-up comic show?

They both tell the audience what they are glad to hear. But at the end, the audience laughs at the comic, and the politician laughs at the audience.

Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. couldn't pull a laugh out of her.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What's the difference between a politician and a computer?

logic

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Not sure, first they have to figure out which way to spin it.