Bike Jokes
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What do methheads and Mormons have in common?
They both ride bikes and go on missions.
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Why can't bikes stand up without leaning on something?
They're two-tired.
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Why is PTSD like riding a bike?
You never forget
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What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?
Look ma, no hands!
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What do you call a bike in NYC that has been standing out in the sun for hours?
Tire-less
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What happend when the bike ran over a nail?
It popped a wheelie.
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Why couldn't the bike stand up?
It was too tired.
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What kind of bikes do girls ride?
Menstrual Cycles (I'm 99% sure I made this up!)
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What do black people and bikes have in common?
Both get thrown out when they have no use
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Why did a chinese man ride a bike to the brothel?
To get laid.
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Why would you throw a rock at a Mexican man riding a bike?
Because it's probably your bike. Why would you throw a rock at a black man riding a bike? Because it's probably your black man.
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How do you call a car enthusiast who's interested in bikes?
Bike-curious
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Why don't professional athletes ride bikes to warm-up before games?
Because then they'd be two tired
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Why can't the bike stand by itself?
Because it was two-tired.
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What do you call a supernatural goose riding a bike seeking vengeance?
Goose Rider
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What happened when the bike ran over a nail?
It popped a wheelie.
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What do you call a black kid riding a bike?
A thief....
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How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?
Lets go ride a bike!
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What do you get if you push a gypsy off a bike?
Your bike back
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Why did the bike not go to the gym?
BECAUSE IT WAS TOO TIRED :D:D:D:D:D:D
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What do a black person and a bike have in common?
they both don't work without a chain.
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Why did the fish fall off it's bike?
It's a fish.
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Why should you never run over a black kid on a bike?
Because it's probably your bike...
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What can I do?
Take his bike away.
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Why did the blonde run with the bike?
A: It was going too fast for her to get on.
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Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson?
Because he'd already done the sharps and flats.
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What's the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire.
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Whats The Difference Between a Hobo On a Unicycle And a Man In a Suit On a Bike?
Attire.
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How can you tell if the kid that stole your bike is half black and half polish?
He's running down the street with the bike under his arm.
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Why did the black boy fall off his bike?
He didn't. He fell off your bike.
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What is the difference between motorbike and boyfriend?
A: Well, bike is first kicked than used and boyfriend is first used than kicked ZZZZ ... :)
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Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.
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What do you get when you cross Pizza with a Bike?
A Piecycle.
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Why did Timmy fall off his bike?
Because Bill threw a mattress at him.
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How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Lets go ride our bikes
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What do blacks and bikes have in common?
They both stop working when you take their chains off. Edit: Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was America. By the way, got this from AskReddit.
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Why shouldn't you laugh when a black man falls off his bike?
It could be your bike. EDIT: Spelling.
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Why was Lisa not able to ride a bike?
She was a cat.
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What's the difference between a man biking to a job interview and a clown on a unicycle?
Attire.
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What is the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
Attire.*
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What is the Popes favorite trick to do on a bike?
Papa-wheelie!
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What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?
The asphalt.
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What's the difference between a man in plain clothes riding a unicycle and a man in a tuxedo riding a bike?
Attire
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How many ADHD children does it take to change a lightbulb?
Lets go ride our bikes
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Why did little Johnny fall off the swing?
he didn't have arms. Why did little Sarah fall off her bike Someone threw a fridge at her.
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Why did the boy fall off the bike?
Someone threw a fridge at him.... Gold
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What do you call a black guy on a bike?
Crime
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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a light bulb?
Lets go play on our bikes.
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What kind of bike does hipster Jesus ride?
A Cruci-fixie.
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Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired
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What's the difference between an apple?
A bike because a vest has no sleeves.
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What's the difference between a black man and a bike?
The bike doesn't start singing when you put a chain on it.
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Why wasn't the bike starting?
Because it was 'two-tyred'.
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What do mormons and tweakers have in common?
They both ride bikes and are on a mission.
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What does a kangaroo and a banana have in common?
They both can't ride a bike.
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What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?
Attire.
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What do you think I should buy, a cow or a bike?
You'd look pretty funny riding a cow...but you'd look much worst milking a bike
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Why don't plumbers ride bikes?
Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack
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What did the black kid get for Christmas?
My bike
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Why didn't the bike go to the car show?
Because he was two tired.
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What's the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?
You can't ride your bike on a sociopath
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Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike?
Because it might be your bike.
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How are E.T. and a Mexican immigrant the same?
They both steal your bike.
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How many kids with ADSD does it take to change a lightbulb?
Lets go ride our bikes!"
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Why do bikes have kick-stands?
A: Because they're two-tired.
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Why can't Jimmy ride his bike?
Because he has no limbs Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D
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Why did little timmy fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a canoe at him !
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What do you call two black guys on a bike?
Organized crime
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Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes ?
Sir Francis Brake !
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What's the difference between a bicycle and a black man?
A bike doesn't start singing when you put chains on it.
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Why can't bikes stand up on their own?
They are two tired.
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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Wanna go ride a bike?
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What do you call a Latino on a bike?
Juan less car (one less car)
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What do you call a Mexican on a bike?
a dirt bike
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How many children with Attention Deficit Disorder does it take to change a light bulb?
Let's go ride our bikes!
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Why did Vladimir fall off his bike?
He was rushin
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Why couldn't the bike stand up on its own?
It was two-tired. *Slaps knee* *Prosthetic leg falls off*
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Why shouldn't you throw a rock at a Mexican riding a bike?
Because that might be your bike
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Why don't you hit a Mexican kid who's riding a bike?
Because it's probably your bike
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What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose ?
Bicycle petals !
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What's the difference between my bike and your mom?
Your dad doesn't watch when I ride my bike.
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How do you recognize a blonde at a car wash?
A: She's the one on her bike.
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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Let's go ride our bikes.
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What's the difference between a bIack guy and a bike?
A bike doesn't start singing when you put chains on it.
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Whats the similarities between black people and bikes?
Both cant work without chains.
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What is the similarity between a black man and a bike?
They both only work with a chain on.
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Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual?
Because the pedals fell off.