Frog Jokes
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What do frogs deal?
Croakaine
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What do frogs drink ?
Hot croako !
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What did the bunny say to the frog?
My name is Rabbit, not ribbit!!(https://www.youtube.com/watch v=CYkDxsaHlkg)
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What kind of drugs to frogs take?
methamphibians.
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What name do you give to a frog?
croaky voice) ROBBERT
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What did the frog with internet addiction say?
Reddit
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What did you think of the chapter on frogs?
Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.
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What do you call a frog that is illegally parked?
Toad.
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What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?
A rabbit that says "Ribbit."
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What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?
Kermit the Fog !
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What does a frog that can read say?
Reddit...reddit...
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What kind of shoes to frogs like ?
Open toad sandals !
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What kind of condoms do frogs wear?
Rib-bed
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What do frogs say?
Times fun when you're having flies
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Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?
She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.
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What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?
Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.
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Where do frogs keep their treasure ?
In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow !
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What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?
Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you
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What happens when you double park your frogs?
They get toad!
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How do you get a frog out of a paper bag?
Ripit
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What's the difference between a frog?
One leg's both the same.
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What do frogs say that surf the internet?
Reddit reddit.. First joke i thought of. :)
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What can be surmised from this?
A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig.
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When is a car like a frog ?
When it's becing toad !
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What on Earth happened?
The doctor said, surprised. "I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse." the frog said.
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How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season?
Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone.
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What did one frog say to the other frog?
Time's fun when you're having flies.
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Why is a frog luckier than a cat ?
Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !
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What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ?
A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
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Whats does dissecting a frog and explaining a joke have in common?
Sure, you know how it works, but now it's dead.
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What did the frog with the speech impediment say?
Thibbit"
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What happens when frogs park illegally?
They get toad.
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What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?
Same middle name.
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What do you do for a frog with a belly ache?
Rubbit.
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Why are frogs on the endangered species list?
Because they croak a lot!
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Why was the young boy crying?
Because he had a frog stapled to his face
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What's the difference between a frog and a cat?
A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.
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What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty?
They respawn.
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How do you sell a deaf guy a frog?
DO YOU WANT TO BUY A FROG? rip.
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Why was Jimmy sad?
Cause Jimmy had a frog stapled to his face.
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What's green then turns red really quickly?
A frog in a blender
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Why do frogs have webbed feet ?
To stamp out forest fires !
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How can I help you?
Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List !" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"
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What's green and red and goes 100 mph?
A frog in a blender.
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What do you call a frog with seven legs?
A seven-legged frog.
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What happens to a frog that parks illegally?
He gets toad.
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What's red and green and spins round & round & round?
A frog in a blender.
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What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?
They both like to pork.
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Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ?
In the croakroom !
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Whats green and goes through walls?
A frog if you throw it hard enough...
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Why frogs don't use Google?
They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!
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What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?
Nothing.
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Why did Ms. piggy call in sick to work?
Because she had a frog in her throat.
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What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
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What do you call a frog that's parked illegally?
Toad.
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What happens to illegally parked frogs ?
They get toad away.
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What do you call a hapoy frog?
Hoppy
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Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?
Kermit the frogs middle finger.
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What do you call a frog with no hind legs?
A: Unhoppy!!
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What does a frog say when it washes car windows?
Rub it rub it rub it.
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How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming?
A: SPLAT!!! He didn't.
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What are some towing related jokes i can impress my car club coworkers with?
I've already got that the frog called our car club to get toad, but that's about where my puns end.
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What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night?
reddit
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Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ?
They always want to play leap frog with him
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Where did the frog say his family came from?
They are German and a tad-Polish"
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What did the dolphin say to the frog?
Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.
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What do you call a frog that jumps half the distance to its destination every time?
An asymptoad.
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How do frogs die ?
They kermit suidide !
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What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common?
Hogwarts!
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What do you call a frog that's in the mood?
A HORNY TOAD!
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What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ?
Lily !
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How do frogs die?
They kermit sucide
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Why cant we interpret what frogs are saying?
They only speak in Morse-toad!
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Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
A frog in a blender !
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What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry ?
A hoppercraft !
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Why was the little boy unhappy?
Because he had a frog stapled to his face
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What did one frog say to the other?
Reddit
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What did the bus conductor say to the frog?
Hop on.
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What do you call a frog in the no parking zone?
Toad
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What did Sacagawea the frog say in the trampoline factory?
I'm very hoppy.
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What happened when a frog joined the cricket team ?
He bowled long hops !
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What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?
French Flies!
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What did Grandma say to the frog?
Something racist, probably.
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What happened to the frog that broke down?
It got toad away.
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What's green and smells like pork?
Kermit the frog
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What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete?
Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.
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Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?
Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.
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Why did the man wear a frog for a condom?
So he was ribbit for her pleasure.
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What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
A croaker spaniel !
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What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?
They share the same middle name.
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Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?
Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)
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What advice did the frog give to the condom manufacturer?
Rib it.
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Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?
A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.
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What happened to the frog who parked illegally?
he got toad
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What do you get... Q. What do you get if you cross a large dinosaur with a frog?
A. A diplo-croak-us.
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What does a frog do when it barbecues?
Rib it...duh!
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How does a frog fasten two objects together?
Rivets.
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What do you call an awesome internet site for frogs?
Rebbit.
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How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ?
They sit eggsaminations !
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What goes green-red-green-red-green-red-green-red?
A frog in my blender
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Why was the frog down in the mouth ?
He was un hoppy !
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Why are frogs no good at websurfing?
Computers have them toad-ily confused.
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Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show?
There was a frog in her throat.
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Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom?
Because it's a toad's tool.
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Why did the Frog cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the Chicken.
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What's the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One goes "ribbit ribbit", the other goes "rub it rub it".
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Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?
A frog with hiccups !
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What did the frog say when he walked into the bar?
Bonjour.*
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What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A dog who can lick himself from across the room
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What's green and says "hey I'm a frog"?
A talking frog! Stolen from "Friends" still hilarious.