Frog Jokes

  • What do frogs deal?


  • What do frogs drink ?

    Hot croako !

  • What did the bunny say to the frog?

    My name is Rabbit, not ribbit!!( v=CYkDxsaHlkg)

  • What kind of drugs to frogs take?


  • What name do you give to a frog?

    croaky voice) ROBBERT

  • What did the frog with internet addiction say?


  • What did you think of the chapter on frogs?

    Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.

  • What do you call a frog that is illegally parked?


  • What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?

    A rabbit that says "Ribbit."

  • What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?

    Kermit the Fog !

  • What does a frog that can read say?


  • What kind of shoes to frogs like ?

    Open toad sandals !

  • What kind of condoms do frogs wear?


  • What do frogs say?

    Times fun when you're having flies

  • Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

    She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

  • What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

    Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

  • Where do frogs keep their treasure ?

    In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow !

  • What kind of shoes do Frogs wear?

    Open Toad sandals... I'll show myself out - thank you

  • What happens when you double park your frogs?

    They get toad!

  • How do you get a frog out of a paper bag?


  • What's the difference between a frog?

    One leg's both the same.

  • What do frogs say that surf the internet?

    Reddit reddit.. First joke i thought of. :)

  • What can be surmised from this?

    A: The frog's probably on its way to a gig.

  • When is a car like a frog ?

    When it's becing toad !

  • What on Earth happened?

    The doctor said, surprised. "I don't know, it started with a boil on my arse." the frog said.

  • How does a frog greet a rabbit during the holiday season?

    Hoppy holidays, and have a hoppin New Hare! Happy holidays everyone.

  • What did one frog say to the other frog?

    Time's fun when you're having flies.

  • Why is a frog luckier than a cat ?

    Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !

  • What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ?

    A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

  • Whats does dissecting a frog and explaining a joke have in common?

    Sure, you know how it works, but now it's dead.

  • What did the frog with the speech impediment say?


  • What happens when frogs park illegally?

    They get toad.

  • What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the VIII have in common?

    Same middle name.

  • What do you do for a frog with a belly ache?


  • Why are frogs on the endangered species list?

    Because they croak a lot!

  • Why was the young boy crying?

    Because he had a frog stapled to his face

  • What's the difference between a frog and a cat?

    A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.

  • What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty?

    They respawn.

  • How do you sell a deaf guy a frog?


  • Why was Jimmy sad?

    Cause Jimmy had a frog stapled to his face.

  • What's green then turns red really quickly?

    A frog in a blender

  • Why do frogs have webbed feet ?

    To stamp out forest fires !

  • How can I help you?

    Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List !" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"

  • What's green and red and goes 100 mph?

    A frog in a blender.

  • What do you call a frog with seven legs?

    A seven-legged frog.

  • What happens to a frog that parks illegally?

    He gets toad.

  • What's red and green and spins round & round & round?

    A frog in a blender.

  • What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

    They both like to pork.

  • Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ?

    In the croakroom !

  • Whats green and goes through walls?

    A frog if you throw it hard enough...

  • Why frogs don't use Google?

    They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

  • What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral?


  • Why did Ms. piggy call in sick to work?

    Because she had a frog in her throat.

  • What animal has more lives than a cat?

    A frog. It croaks every night.

  • What do you call a frog that's parked illegally?


  • What happens to illegally parked frogs ?

    They get toad away.

  • What do you call a hapoy frog?


  • Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon?

    Kermit the frogs middle finger.

  • What do you call a frog with no hind legs?

    A: Unhoppy!!

  • What does a frog say when it washes car windows?

    Rub it rub it rub it.

  • How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming?

    A: SPLAT!!! He didn't.

  • What are some towing related jokes i can impress my car club coworkers with?

    I've already got that the frog called our car club to get toad, but that's about where my puns end.

  • What sounds like a frog but keeps me up all night?


  • Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ?

    They always want to play leap frog with him

  • Where did the frog say his family came from?

    They are German and a tad-Polish"

  • What did the dolphin say to the frog?

    Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.

  • What do you call a frog that jumps half the distance to its destination every time?

    An asymptoad.

  • How do frogs die ?

    They kermit suidide !

  • What do Harry Potter and Kermit the frog have in common?


  • What do you call a frog that's in the mood?


  • What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ?

    Lily !

  • How do frogs die?

    They kermit sucide

  • Why cant we interpret what frogs are saying?

    They only speak in Morse-toad!

  • Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?

    A frog in a blender !

  • What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry ?

    A hoppercraft !

  • Why was the little boy unhappy?

    Because he had a frog stapled to his face

  • What did one frog say to the other?


  • What did the bus conductor say to the frog?

    Hop on.

  • What do you call a frog in the no parking zone?


  • What did Sacagawea the frog say in the trampoline factory?

    I'm very hoppy.

  • What happened when a frog joined the cricket team ?

    He bowled long hops !

  • What side dish do frogs like to enjoy with their hamburgers?

    French Flies!

  • What did Grandma say to the frog?

    Something racist, probably.

  • What happened to the frog that broke down?

    It got toad away.

  • What's green and smells like pork?

    Kermit the frog

  • What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete?

    Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.

  • Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred?

    Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat.

  • Why did the man wear a frog for a condom?

    So he was ribbit for her pleasure.

  • What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?

    A croaker spaniel !

  • What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

    They share the same middle name.

  • Why did Kermit the Frog split with Ms. Piggy?

    Because she wouldn't rub it rub it. (blame Happy International Bacon Day)

  • What advice did the frog give to the condom manufacturer?

    Rib it.

  • Why does Mrs. Piggy douche with honey?

    A. Because Kermit the frog likes sweet and sour pork.

  • What happened to the frog who parked illegally?

    he got toad

  • What do you get... Q. What do you get if you cross a large dinosaur with a frog?

    A. A diplo-croak-us.

  • What does a frog do when it barbecues?

    Rib it...duh!

  • How does a frog fasten two objects together?


  • What do you call an awesome internet site for frogs?


  • How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ?

    They sit eggsaminations !

  • What goes green-red-green-red-green-red-green-red?

    A frog in my blender

  • Why was the frog down in the mouth ?

    He was un hoppy !

  • Why are frogs no good at websurfing?

    Computers have them toad-ily confused.

  • Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show?

    There was a frog in her throat.

  • Why wouldn't the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom?

    Because it's a toad's tool.

  • Why did the Frog cross the road?

    Because it was stapled to the Chicken.

  • What's the difference between a frog and a horny toad?

    One goes "ribbit ribbit", the other goes "rub it rub it".

  • Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?

    A frog with hiccups !

  • What did the frog say when he walked into the bar?


  • What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?

    A dog who can lick himself from across the room

  • What's green and says "hey I'm a frog"?

    A talking frog! Stolen from "Friends" still hilarious.