Bus Jokes

How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD?

It took the bus.

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What's the difference between a Chinese man and a lobster under a bus?

Nothing. They're both crustacians.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream?

She got hit by a bus. Why did Sally fall off the swing? She lost her arms when she was hit by a bus. Why did Sally not get back on the swing? She also lost her legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? I don't know, she couldn't open it.

Why did I stop reading M.C Escher books on the bus?

Because I always get weird stairs

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

You Pokmon!

What do you call a bus that identifies with no gender?

A transit

What's the worst thing you can hear while taking the bus?

ALLAHUUUUUU AKBARRRR

Why did the boy drip his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus.

What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

What do you call that feeling when the bus finally arrives?

a peasantfeeling

Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream?

A: He was hit by a bus

The World's Greatest Dad Jokes: The Complete Collection (The Heirloom Edition): Over 500 Cringe-Worthy Puns and One-Liners

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What do you call a late teacher?

Mr. Bus

How do you get heaps of pikachu on to a bus?

You pokemon

Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street?

She got hit by a Bus.

How do you turn fruits into vegetables?

Drive a bus through a pride parade

What did the Circle say to the Square on the bus?

Oh no! I've got on the Rhombus!"

Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

Because the bus hit him.

Why did little Johnny lose his ice cream?

He got his by a bus. My little brother just told me this!

What has 5 teeth and 60 eyes?

A bus full of old people

What do you call an Arab man who drives a bus?

A bus driver.

How many retards does it take to push a bus?

Just one. They're retardedily strong.

Wacky Jokes for Kids: Over 500 Kids' Jokes including One-Liners, Knock-Knock Jokes, Tongue Twisters and Wacky Facts for Kids - Perfect for kids ages 5 to 12

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What do you call a secret agent running for the bus?

A Russian spy.

What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

They're both crushed-asians

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus

How do you get Squirtle, Charmander and Pikachu onto a bus?

You pokemon.

How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus?

Poke 'em on.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

What do you call a bus on its way to Comic Con?

Virgin Mobile

What do you call a walrus that's been hit by a bus?

Dead.

Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful?

The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube.

What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

A stand up driver.

The Best Worst Dad Jokes: All the Puns, Quips, and Wisecracks You Need to Torment Your Kids

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Why are the buses in London red?

You'd be too if you came every 10 minutes.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?

He got hit by a bus!

Why are Women like buses?

You wait all day for one then find out 48 other people in the local area have been riding on her.

What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?

Columbus

How do you get Pikachu on the bus?

Poke 'em on!

Why did the bat miss the bus?

Because he hung around for too long.

What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys?

Coach.

Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus?

There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus.

Where is children?

Latvian man respond "Children is dead from childbirth." Bus leave.

What do a car, a bus, and a family have in common?

The car and the bus both have wheels.

Why did the bus stop?

Because it saw the zebra crossing.

What do you call 50 feminists on a bus?

Trick Question. You can't fit 50 feminists on a bus.

What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?

Dead.

What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?

The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans.

What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus?

He never saw it coming.

Why should you never run behind a bus?

You will get exhausted.

Why didn't the little girl finish her lollipop?

She was hit by a bus

What "bus" crossed the ocean?

Columbus.

How many mexicans can you fit in a bus?

All of them.

What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus?

He waits at the next station

What do you do when two lesbians make out in front of you in a bus?

You get off.

What do monsters play when they are in the bus?

Squash.

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream?

She got hit by a bus. Sequel: Why did the little girl's sister drop her ice cream Someone threw a fridge at her.

Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?

So they can tell if they are going to work or going home while on the bus.

Why did the Afgahni get burnt lips?

Because he tried to blow up a bus.

What is 30 feet long and has 42 teeth?

A bus full of rednecks

What's the worst part about 30 lawyers in a bus going over a cliff?

The bus could fit 30 more lawyers.

Why planes are faster than car and buses?

Because they are almost never **tired**.

Why should you never run in front of a bus?

You will get tired.

What do you call a business that doesn't sell Apple's sea monster?

A bus

When should I reach the bus station if the bus leaves at 1530 hrs?

before 15:30 ... I'll show myself out

Who's there ! Becka ! Becka who ?

Becka the bus is the best place to sit !

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

Why are you on this bus?

Aren't you supposed to be driving around in a car "

Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus?

The answer is (B) a flounder. The other two are crushedAsians.

What do you call the one white person on a bus full of black people?

Coach

What is a bus ?

A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Which end of a bus is it best to get off?

It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.

What drives you?

Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning M: missing the bus

Why have you parked your bus here?

Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus Stop."

Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round?

They're wheels.

How do you get a Charizard on a bus?

You pokemon!

What kind of bus can cross the ocean?

A Columbus.

What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?

He waits for it at the next stop.

Who's there ! Annetta ! Annetta who ?

Annetta joke like that and you're off this bus !

Why did Jimmy drop his icecream?

He got hit by a bus!

What's a blind man doing on a boat?

Waiting for a bus.

What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus?

Allahu Akbar!" I'm going to hell for this.

What is it Johnny?

Does Grandma know anything about car mechanics " "No, why " "She's outside, under a bus"

What do you call a teacher that's always late?

Mr. Bus (think about it)

What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving off a cliff?

A Good Start.(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=obKLdou0LH0)

What do you call it... What do you call it when a bus and a car are put together?

12 Casualties

Why couldn't G Unit get on the Bus?

They did not have 50 Cent.

How do you get Peekachu on a bus?

You Pokemon

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?

He got hit by a bus

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What do you call a car if you don't know its gender?

Mitsuheshe.

What is the difference between leaves and a car?

One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.

Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

What do you call a wheel with clothes?

Attire. My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle.

Why do more men die in car crashes than woman?

Because women are at the wheel.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What does Michael Jackson do when he gets kids to the top of the Empire State building?

Tosses them off.

Why divorce now after all this time together?

Woman: We wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

Bus Driver Jokes More Bus Driver Jokes

What do you call an Arab man who drives a bus?

A bus driver.

What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?

One knows the stops the other stops the nose.

Old People Jokes More Old People Jokes

How do old people go to the bathroom?

Depends.

Whats do a baby and old people have in common?

They both get ditched in the park

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb ?

A: 50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What did the boulder say to the other boulder?

I rock. You Rock. We Rock. Disclaimer: This joke was made during a 6 hour road trip with the family. My only scenery was rocks.

What's the difference between a folk singer and a pepperoni pizza?

A pepperoni pizza can actually feed a family of five.

Stevie Jokes More Stevie Jokes

What's black and screams?

Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

What makes Stevie wonder?

What everything looks like.