Bus Jokes

  • What do you call 50 feminists on a bus?

    Trick Question. You can't fit 50 feminists on a bus.

  • What's the difference between a Chinese man and a lobster under a bus?

    Nothing. They're both crustacians.

  • Who's there ! Becka ! Becka who ?

    Becka the bus is the best place to sit !

  • What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?

    The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans.

  • What do you call the white guy on a bus full of black guys?

    Coach.

  • Why did the kid drop his ice cream?

    Because the bus hit him.

  • What's the worst part about 30 lawyers in a bus going over a cliff?

    The bus could fit 30 more lawyers.

  • What's a blind man doing on a boat?

    Waiting for a bus.

  • Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

    At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

  • What kind of bus can cross the ocean?

    A Columbus.

  • Why are Women like buses?

    You wait all day for one then find out 48 other people in the local area have been riding on her.

  • Why are we making such a big deal about the wheels on the bus going round and round?

    They're wheels.

  • What do monsters play when they are in the bus?

    Squash.

  • Why are you on this bus?

    Aren't you supposed to be driving around in a car "

  • Why did little Johnny lose his ice cream?

    He got his by a bus. My little brother just told me this!

  • Why did the Afgahni get burnt lips?

    Because he tried to blow up a bus.

  • Why did the little girl drop her ice cream?

    She got hit by a bus. Sequel: Why did the little girl's sister drop her ice cream Someone threw a fridge at her.

  • How do you turn fruits into vegetables?

    Drive a bus through a pride parade

  • How do you get Squirtle, Charmander and Pikachu onto a bus?

    You pokemon.

  • What do you call that feeling when the bus finally arrives?

    a peasantfeeling

  • Who's there ! Annetta ! Annetta who ?

    Annetta joke like that and you're off this bus !

  • What drives you?

    Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning M: missing the bus

  • Why have you parked your bus here?

    Bus Driver: The sign says "Bus Stop."

  • What do you do when two lesbians make out in front of you in a bus?

    You get off.

  • What is a bus ?

    A: A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

  • What do you call an Arab man who drives a bus?

    A bus driver.

  • What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

    A stand up driver.

  • How do you get Pikachu on the bus?

    Poke 'em on!

  • What do you call it when someone gets hit by a bus on his way to pay off his student loans?

    Crippling debt! It's funny because he can't walk anymore!

  • How do you get heaps of pikachu on to a bus?

    You pokemon

  • What do you call a bus full of lawyers driving off a cliff?

    A Good Start.(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=obKLdou0LH0)

  • Why did I stop reading M.C Escher books on the bus?

    Because I always get weird stairs

  • What has 5 teeth and 60 eyes?

    A bus full of old people

  • How many retards does it take to push a bus?

    Just one. They're retardedily strong.

  • Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream?

    A: He was hit by a bus

  • Why didn't the little girl finish her lollipop?

    She was hit by a bus

  • How do you get 50 Pikachus on a bus?

    Poke 'em on.

  • Why couldn't G Unit get on the Bus?

    They did not have 50 Cent.

  • Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops?

    So they can tell if they are going to work or going home while on the bus.

  • Why should you never run behind a bus?

    You will get exhausted.

  • Which end of a bus is it best to get off?

    It doesn't matter. Both ends stop.

  • What do you call a bus that identifies with no gender?

    A transit

  • What do you call a teacher that's always late?

    Mr. Bus (think about it)

  • What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?

    He waits for it at the next stop.

  • What do you call it... What do you call it when a bus and a car are put together?

    12 Casualties

  • What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus?

    He never saw it coming.

  • Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus?

    The answer is (B) a flounder. The other two are crushedAsians.

  • What is it Johnny?

    Does Grandma know anything about car mechanics " "No, why " "She's outside, under a bus"

  • What's the worst thing you can hear while taking the bus?

    ALLAHUUUUUU AKBARRRR

  • Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street?

    She got hit by a Bus.

  • What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus?

    Allahu Akbar!" I'm going to hell for this.

  • How do you get Peekachu on a bus?

    You Pokemon

  • When should I reach the bus station if the bus leaves at 1530 hrs?

    before 15:30 ... I'll show myself out

  • How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

    You Pokmon!

  • Why did the boy drip his ice cream?

    He got hit by a bus.

  • Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful?

    The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube.

  • What did the Circle say to the Square on the bus?

    Oh no! I've got on the Rhombus!"

  • Where is children?

    Latvian man respond "Children is dead from childbirth." Bus leave.

  • Why did the bat miss the bus?

    Because he hung around for too long.

  • Why are the buses in London red?

    You'd be too if you came every 10 minutes.

  • Why couldn't stevie wonder drive the bus?

    There's no steering wheel in the back of the bus.

  • What bus crossed the Atlantic Ocean?

    Columbus

  • What is 30 feet long and has 42 teeth?

    A bus full of rednecks

  • Why did Jimmy drop his icecream?

    He got hit by a bus!

  • Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone?

    He got hit by a bus!

  • What do you call a business that doesn't sell Apple's sea monster?

    A bus

  • What do a Chinese tourist who got run over by a bus and a lobster have in common?

    They're both crushed-asians

  • Why should you never run in front of a bus?

    You will get tired.

  • How did a bit travel from the CPU to the HDD?

    It took the bus.

  • What do you call a secret agent running for the bus?

    A Russian spy.

  • What does Usain Bolt do when he misses the bus?

    He waits at the next station

  • Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

    He got hit by a bus

  • What do a car, a bus, and a family have in common?

    The car and the bus both have wheels.

  • How do you get a Charizard on a bus?

    You pokemon!

  • What do you call a late teacher?

    Mr. Bus

  • Why did the little boy drop his ice cream?

    He got hit by a bus

  • What do you call a bus on its way to Comic Con?

    Virgin Mobile

  • Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

    A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

  • Why did Sally drop her ice cream?

    She got hit by a bus. Why did Sally fall off the swing? She lost her arms when she was hit by a bus. Why did Sally not get back on the swing? She also lost her legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? I don't know, she couldn't open it.

  • What do you call a walrus that's been hit by a bus?

    Dead.

  • What "bus" crossed the ocean?

    Columbus.

  • Why planes are faster than car and buses?

    Because they are almost never **tired**.

  • Why did the bus stop?

    Because it saw the zebra crossing.

  • What do you call the one white person on a bus full of black people?

    Coach

  • What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head?

    Dead.

  • How many mexicans can you fit in a bus?

    All of them.