Direction Jokes

Why did George cross the road?

He didn't look in both directions before crossing.

Dock Tok Presents…The Good, the Dad, and the Punny: Jokes from the Water’s Edge

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How does the leper give directions?

It's straight ahead, just my finger".

What does aerosmith say when someone asks them for directions?

Walk this way

What is Rickon Stark's favourite band ?

One Direction.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?

They won't stop to ask for directions.

What is the only bent straight line?

Its one direction of course.

What do you call a Mexican chicken giving directions?

Arrows con Pollo

Why did the stutterer get shot in the ghetto?

He was asking for directions for the "k-k-k-mart."

What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

What happened to the boy-band member who dropped the soap In the prison shower?

Let's just say that his backstreet went more than one direction.

What's a one way streets favorite band?

One Direction

Wacky Jokes for Kids: Over 500 Kids' Jokes including One-Liners, Knock-Knock Jokes, Tongue Twisters and Wacky Facts for Kids - Perfect for kids ages 5 to 12

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What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction?

There's only one Bender in Futurama

What do you call a Native American girl that is really good with directions?

A Navajo.

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

Because that's the direction his car was sliding.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?

Because they won't stop to ask directions.

Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Why was the scalar depressed?

Because he had no direction.

What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions?

A Chihuahua because it knows all the shortcuts!

How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Where Your Children Are?

Even worse, the next song is called, "Can You Give Me Directions "

The Ultimate Dad Joke Book: 501 Hilarious Puns, Funny One Liners and Clean Cheesy Dad Jokes for Kids (Gifts for Dad)

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Why do single people take dating advice from other single people?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

Why do single women take advice from other single women?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions

What did One Direction say when they became popular?

Zayn Ma Luck

What is Rickon Stark's favorite band?

One Direction

Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

What did Germany say to Britain during World War II?

I'd luft to waffe a few bombs in your direction.

Why do people always ask me for directions?

I have no clue where I am going. I am sure i have sent 100's of people into the ocean.

What would you say are your strengths?

Me: Words Him: Can you say more Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions

Who was the only novelist with both direction and magnitude?

Vector Hugo.

Why would you ask me for directions?

You just saw me walk into a closed door.

Minecraft: The Official Joke Book

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction?

Jail break.

Why are they called One Direction?

Looks to me like they go both ways.

Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix?

He was asking for directions.

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other.

What do you call a boy-band composed of stoners?

No Direction.

Why do so few men end up in Heaven?

They never stop to ask directions.

What do you call a Chinese man with a bad sense of direction?

Wong Wei

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

How fast can you travel in any direction in an airport?

Terminal velocity.

What directions did the ghost give the goblin?

A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus?

Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.

How much does Jesus love you?

Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)

Opposite Direction Jokes More Opposite Direction Jokes

What did you just do?

CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Storm Trooper Jokes More Storm Trooper Jokes

What is the safest place in the galaxy?

In the direct line of fire of a Storm Trooper.

Why do Storm Troopers like churchs?

Cuz of all the pews. I hate myself

Theme Jokes More Theme Jokes

What's your favorite adult-themed Halloween joke?

My favorite is: "There's a maniac living in our neighborhood. He goes house-to-house leaving severed body parts on the doorstep. He gives me the willies."

What do you call a techno-themed grocery store?

Gigi D'Agostino

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How to tell the difference between a bad, a good and an excellent accountant ?

When you ask them "2+2 is ?":

Who's your Daddy?

In my excitement, I asked my girlfriend "How's your daddy " instead of "Who's your daddy " and now five hours later we're still talking about his diabetes...

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a woman who throws letters in the fire?

Bernadette

Why couldn't Bing start a fire?

No matches founds

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

How many cats sawed in half does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently 10 aren't enough :

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

Magician Jokes More Magician Jokes

What do you call a perverted Magician?

Q: What do you call a perverted Magician A: David "Cop a Feel" ...ba dum cha!

What do you call a Magician with a Parrot?

Pollygone