Midget Jokes
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What's the difference between a midget and a dwarf?
Little.
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Why was the midget fired from his job?
He came up short on his register.
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What do you call a midget with an axe?
A battle dwarf
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When is the appropriate time to kick a midget in the balls?
A: When he is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
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What did the cannibals do with the midget?
Put another shrimp on the barbie.
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What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget?
Tom Cruise
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What do you call a midget mexican?
A paragraph since he isn't a full essay
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How do you call a car designed for midgets?
Half a Romeo. I'll show myself out.
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How many midgets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I'd be surprised if you could fit two in there
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What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza?
Little Seizures...
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What do you call a midget with leprosy?
A leperchaun!
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What is 34.5?
69 for midgets
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Why should a midget not attempt to slaughter a cow?
The steaks are just too high.
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Why do midgets not wear tampons?
They might trip on the string.
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Why did the midget who drove British cars get cabin fever?
He was mini cooped up for to long.
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What do Dwarfs and Midgets have in common?
very little
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Where do midget terrorists live?
Halfghanistan.
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What do you call a midget in a hospital waiting room constantly complaining about how long he's been waiting?
Imp-Patient!
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What do you call a construction company that only employs midgets?
Clearly short handed.
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What do you call a midget with Down Syndrome?
you call him a little slow
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What do you call a midget in a Mental Asylum?
I don't really know, but it sounds a little crazy
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What do a midget and a dwarf have in common?
Very little.
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Whats the difference between a midget and a bigot?
One is small and the Other is small minded!
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Why did the midget get kicked out of the putt putt course?
because he wanted to play minijerkoff.
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What do dwarves and midgets have in common?
Very little
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What do a dwarf and a midget have in common?
Very little.
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Why did the midget go swimming in the kitchen?
There were microwaves. Sorry I was drunk making popcorn.
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Why don't midgets like barbecues?
because the steaks are too high.
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What did the doctor say to the midget waiting in the lobby?
You're just going to have to be a little patient.
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What would a midget be jealous of at a little kid?
The kid is over 5 feet tall.
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What do you call a midget that does cocaine?
A low blow
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What do you call a budget that's cut short from the middle?
A midget.
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Why do midgets always fight?
Short tempers.
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What's grosser than gross?
When a midget walks past and says your hair smells nice!
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Why don't midgets ever get accepted into nudist colonies?
They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business.
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When is it okay to kick a midget in the balls?
When he tells you that your wife's hair smells good.
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What do midgets and dwarfs have in common?
Just a little
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What do you call a midget hanging around a crime scene?
A little suspect
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What's the difference between a women's track team and a group of midgets playing chess?
The latter is a group of cunning runts.
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What's gotten into you man?
Midget: Sorry, I feel a little Sikh.
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What do you call a midget clown that juggles?
A Juggalo
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When do you kick a midget in the balls?
When he's standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice
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Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony?
He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?
I can't believe someone would stoop so low.
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When is it okay to punch a midget?
When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.
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What do call the two midgets who ran an impound lot?
Little Seizers
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What do you call a carpentry business that only hires midgets?
The Whittle Business *badum ching*
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What do you call a midget psychic running from the cops?
A small medium at large!
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Whats the best part about sleeping with a midget?
You're sure to get a little head
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What do you call a midget with a yeast infection?
A quarter pounder with cheese.
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What's the difference between a midget and black people?
A midget is a small problem. Black people are a huge problem.
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Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off?
It reads "Small medium at large."
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What is a short punchy statement?
Boxing Midgets.
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How can a line be both short and long?
It's a long line of midgets!
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Who has to always be on there toes?
A midget at a urinal.
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Why did the midget get slapped?
Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.
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How did the midget feel after sleeping all night in a coffin?
A little stiff.
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When Do You Hurt a Midget?
When He is standing next to your girlfriend saying her hair smells nice!
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What do you call a party organized by a bunch of midgets?
A little get together
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How did the midget feel when he found out he was retarded?
A little Down.
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What happens if you cross a midget and a computer?
A: You get a short circut.
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What do you call a midget who directs Dirty Jobs?
A Micromanager.
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What did the midget give her boyfriend after his concert?
A Standing Blow-vation.
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Why did they produce a reality show about midgets?
Because they only wanted a little drama.
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Why don't midgets smoke weed?
Because they can't get high.
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Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons?
Because they keep stepping on the string.
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When do you kick a midget in the nuts?
When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.
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What do you call a midget in a subway saying, "tick...tick...tick..."?
A metro-gnome
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What did the midget get when he ran under the strippers legs?
A flap in the face.
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Why do midgets make bad parents?
Cause they struggle to put food on the table
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What's the best thing a midget can catch?
Air.
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What happens when a midget smokes weed?
He gets medium.