Toe Jokes

What did the person say when someone tried to cut off their toes?

I'm lactose intolerant.

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What's the difference between a camera and a foot?

A camera has photos and a foot has five toes. (Told to me by a 9 year old child I work with)

What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

What did the T-Rex say when he stubbed his toe?

Ouch. I'm Dino-sore!"

What do you call a woman who does not have all her toes on one foot?

Normal

Why couldn't the infant insect without toes drink milk?

He was lack toes and toddler ant

What is a vegetable's favorite martial art?

He can't do martial art because he is paralyzed tip to toe.

What did the little cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe?

My toe sis!

What did the kid say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while trying to catch him?

Nana boo boo

What do you call someone who hates people without toes and can't have ice cream?

Lack-toes intolerant

What do you call a bee with a toe?

Toby"

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What's worse than stubbing your toe?

The Holocaust

What is the difference between a sock and a camera?

A sock takes five toes and a camera takes photos.

What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off?

NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!

What do you do when you stub your toe?

Call a toe truck.

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!

What did one cell say to his sister that stepped on his toe?

Mitosis

Who has to always be on there toes?

A midget at a urinal.

What do I think about my toes?

They couldn't be further from my mind.

What did the cell say to his sister who stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

What do you call a guy with a toe growing out of his knee?

Tony.

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Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?

A. Put the remote control between his toes.

What did the bacterium do when its sibling stepped on its toe?

My toe sis!"

Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

Toes go in first!

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

Why do cows have hoofs?

Because they lack toes

How do you keep men on their toes?

Raise the urinals

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

What do you call a man with a toe on his knee?

Tony

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Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?

To carry his library card.

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on ?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket !

What do you call man without toes?

What do you call a man without toes and is allergic to milk Lack-toes intolerant!!

What do missiles, camels, and common fetishes have in common?

What " " -Toes." "Out. Just get out."

Which toes?

She answers "My big toes".

What did a cell say to his sister cell, when she stepped on his toe?

Mitosis!

What do you call a Spanish man with erasers for toes?

Roberto* What do you call a Spanish man with no car *Joaquin*

Why do ballet dancers always stand on their toes?

Could they not hire taller dancers

What did the goldsmith say when he stubbed his toe?

Why did the blonde write "TGIF" on her shoes?

A. To remind her that "toes go in first."

Why are ballerinas so vigilant?

They are always kept on their toes.

Why do ballerinas stand on their toes?

Can't they just get taller women

What's pink has five toes and is carried by the Easter Bunny?

His lucky people's foot!

Why did the foot smile?

He was toe very happy. Jesus that is awful.

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What kind of shoes do they wear in Holland?

Wooden shoe like me to tell you. Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one

What you call toes that taste like mint?

Tic-tac-toe! My 8 year old daughter made this one up.

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Why did the blonde tip toe near the medicine cabinet?

Because she didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

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Why did Jesus go to a Candy shop?

To Test a Mint

Why did the blonde throw tic-tacs in her spaghetti?

The recipe told her to mints her garlic.

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Which wizard can help you tone up your arms and upper body?

Dumbbelldor.

Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving?

Because you only need one arm to drum along..

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Whose baby was it?

The elephant's!

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stomp out fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out the burning ducks.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man smoke a cigarette in Beijing?

To get some fresh air

Why did man invent curling?

To convince women sweeping was a sport.

Sister Jokes More Sister Jokes

Why don't computers have any brothers?

They are all trans-sisters.

Why was the nun named "NPN"?

She was a trans-sister! I'm so sorry for wasting your precious mouse clicks on that god-awful joke

Rubber Toe Jokes More Rubber Toe Jokes

What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?

Roberto

What do you call a hispanic man with a rubber toe?

ROBERTO! I'm here all week.